Crohn's sucks. That's about all I have to say about that!
I've been feeling pretty crappy again these last couple of days. It's frustrating and so disheartening. The Humira has been working. I've been off steroids since about October 2013. I have felt good. I would never say I got back to 100%, but I was easily at 95% and I was more than willing to take that. I'm back down to about 70%...and that might be being generous. Ugh.
It's amazing to me how quickly it happened this time too. I was feeling fine, then I was having little episodes of stomach aches, but no real big deal and then all of the sudden there is red again. That's never a color you want to see in the bathroom. Unless, of course, you have pretty red walls!
I'm feeling frustrated. I get emotional when I have a flare and I eat when I'm emotional. I'm trying very hard not to do that this time around. I'm trying very hard to continue to lose weight through this flare. I am trying to stay positive and hopeful that it'll end quickly. I have a message in to my doctor and am waiting to hear what he'll say. I'm actually willing to go back on steroids, being hopeful that it'll be a "quick" round and I'll be better. We'll see though. I seem to be getting worse each day so the longer I wait to do something, the more work the drug needs to do.
Needless to say I'm pissed. I can't help but wonder if doing the Whole30 and then going back to eating all those forbidden foods was just too much on my system. I wonder if I never did the Whole30 if I would still feel sick. I wonder if I kept doing the Whole30 if I would still feel good. But then I think about the fact that all doctor's I've ever talked to tell me that what you eat does not cause Crohn's and it doesn't cause flares either so.......who the heck really knows. It's not helpful to think about all these things, really, so I should just stop wondering. It is what it is and it sucks.
But let's talk about some good news, shall we? Today is day 6 of consistently tracking my food and activity with WW. My weigh in will be Wednesday and since I get on the scale every morning, I'm pretty confident it'll be a good weigh in! :) As of right now I have 9 "extra" points still remaining for the week, which should be plenty to get me through tonight and tomorrow. Oh, I'll also add another 4-10 points to that with activity points from today and tomorrow. I earn between 3 and 5 points a day just by entering my steps into the tracker. For me, a low step day (around 4-5000 steps) gets me 3 points and a better day (8000 steps) gets me 5 points. I've been trying to hit my goal on my Garmin Vivofit every day so that helps. It has been harder the last 2 days because I've been more tired as well. Yesterday walking from my backyard to my front made me out of breath. Sigh......
So that is what has been going on with me. For once me not posting did not mean that I was off track and eating/drinking a lot! :) As of getting on the scale this morning I was getting within a couple pounds of losing 20 since I started the Whole30. I won't get it this week, but it is a definite possibility for next week if I keep at it. I need to keep at it. I need to do this. I am going to do this.
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