Just Keep Swimming

3 days in a row!! WOO HOO! 2 weeks ago I strung 3 days in a row of exercising, but I still hadn't gotten my eating under control. This week I have had 3 days of not only exercise but healthy eating as well. I am feeling good. I feel like my mood is lifting and I slept better last night than I've slept in quite a while. BUT, it's only been 3 days. It needs to keep going.

I weighed myself Monday (obviously) to see where I was at and use that to figure out my goals from here. You all know the battle I have with the scale and figuring out how to best use it. I think it comes down to using it the way that works in the moment. Back in September it was working to only weigh myself a few times a month; and in 2011 when I lost 40lbs it worked to weigh myself every day. What it comes down to is that the scale isn't what sabotages me - it's me. Like I've said before; I will sabotage myself if I want to. The scale can say I'm up and I'll eat if I want to. The scale can say I'm WAY down and I'll eat if I want to. So, I'm back to weighing myself every day. I think it'll be interesting to see the trends.

In September I set out to lose 5lbs a month until I hit my goal weight range. I still like the idea of this as a goal because I think it takes some pressure off of me. However, I did make my first goal a lofty one to help get myself back on track. Basically my first goal is to lose 10.8lbs in 5 weeks. Doable, but definitely more lofty than 5lbs in a month. But, it'll help to get me back on track with my goals.

Since I'm weighing myself every day, I was quite happy to see the number on the scale this morning! In just 2 days I am down 3.4lbs!! Now, I have done this enough to know that you lose water weight in the beginning and I am totally fine with that! The fact of the matter is I weigh 3.4lbs less today than I did Monday. Better yet, I weigh less (by only a half pound, but still) than I did on January 2nd - my first weigh in of 2016. This is a step in the right direction.

I was proud of myself today because I went out to lunch and hadn't planned it ahead of time. I knew that even if I ate 1000 calories at lunch I could still have a calorie deficit on the day, but not like I had Monday and Tuesday. I really wasn't sure what choice I was going to make. We ended up at Applebee's and I ended up getting an item from their "Pub Diet" menu. The meal was 640 calories (my normal lunch is around 500 so this really wasn't much more). It was quite good and I didn't feel like I was depriving myself or anything. I consciously made this choice. I gave myself permission to make a less healthy choice, but I chose healthy (or healthier). These are all steps in the right direction. IF I can actually stay on track this time this will be the first time in a while that it took me just over a month to get back on track. 

I like this blog because I am the type of person who goes back and reads my previous posts. It reminds me of how I felt at certain points. I am reminded of how much fun I had in 2011 and 2012 when I was active and training and completely races. It helps re-kindle that motivation. I can also go back and see that I say things like, I feel better when I'm eating like this. Exercising regularly makes me feel better than any pill ever can. 

And with that I will leave you.....until next time! 

25 Days into 2016

While reminiscing and re-reading my old posts I came across this entry in December of 2012. The entry was titled 13 in 2013 and I was coming up with 13 goals that I hoped to reach in 2013. Now, we all know that 2013 ended up being a very difficult year for me and I don't think I met any of the 13 goals that I set out to meet. But there was one goal in particular that even 3 years later continues to be a huge struggle. In 2013 it was the 10th goal that I listed.....

10. Don't fall off the wagon the last 1-3 months of the year (or the first 1-3 months for that matter)! This is another, "not small" goal. Each and every year (as many of us do), I completely fall off the wagon between October and December. Last year was my best year and it took me until almost the end of December to fall off the wagon. My lowest weight of 2011 happened in November (I believe) and I only started 2012 3 pounds heavier than that lowest weight. However, I then fell off the wagon for the last few weeks of 2011 and couldn't get back on until probably April 2012...again. So, I need to work on not falling off at ALL since getting back on seems to take me quite a while!

I had started tracking my food again in September of 2015 and as discussed in this post , came up with some new goals to meet my weight loss goal by my 40th birthday in 2017. I thought for SURE this plan would work like a charm because I was making very doable goals - losing only 5 pounds per month. For the first few months it DID work like a charm. I was losing right around 5lbs every month and was not feeling like I was "dieting" at all. I ate very controlled and healthy during the week - tracked my food and fitness and paid attention to my calorie deficit each day. Then, on the weekends I let myself have "freedom". I didn't track my food or worry about calorie deficits. It was working great. Each Monday I would get right back on track and some of those weekend days I would even decide to track just to see where I was at and would see that I actually wasn't eating that many calories. 

By mid-December I had lost 16.6 pounds from my September weigh in and just about 20lbs from what I weighed at the start of the year. I felt better. My clothes were fitting loser. I felt like this was actually working. Then Thanksgiving happened. I hosted Thanksgiving on both Thursday and Saturday. I ate whatever I wanted pretty much that entire week. I did it consciously though and on Monday I was mostly back on track. And then I wasn't. And then I was....you see where this is going. It got to a point where I just stopped tracking in December. I didn't necessarily go hog-wild crazy or anything, but I certainly wasn't trying. 

January 1st rolls around and I had actually only gained a few pounds....OK, 5 pounds. I was actually fine with that though. I was still down over 10lbs from starting in September and I was still down almost 12lbs from where I was on Jan 1, 2015. I was still moving in the right direction so I was happy with that. It has now been 25 days into 2016 and I have YET to get back on track. Grrrr.......

The good news is that in the last 3 weeks I've "only" gained about 3lbs. Considering I really haven't been doing anything, I am happy with only averaging a one pound gain per week. Another good thing is that the exercise class I take re-started 2 weeks ago so I know that I'll get at least 2 days of hard workouts in in a week. This will defintely help move me in the right direction because I always feel better after I workout. As I type this I am sitting in my workout gear so that I can go get on the treadmill before lunch today. 

So today is the day. I am re-commiting to this drive to lose weight and get fit before my 40th birthday. I still have plenty of time and can still do it. And, even if I don't hit some arbitrary number by my 40th birthday, at least I will be a step closer if I can continue to commit and re-commit when I fall down.