To 10k or Not to 10k

Happy Monday and the start of another week! I last left you with the fact that I was struggling through last week. I was able to hold it together until Saturday. I crashed and burned on Saturday and Sunday. I didn't do TOO much damage, but it did result in the scale going in the wrong direction today.

Weigh in for this week.....+1.6 lbs. Not great, but still a net loss of 2 lbs since refocusing so I'm over it. The good news is that I did still workout 5 days last week, with several of those workouts lasting 45 minutes to an hour. I really feel like I'm back when it comes to my activity level so that makes me happy.

As I also mentioned in my last post, I've already started adding back in run intervals during my walks. Last week I built back up to a 2/2 interval and completed 4 miles in 62 minutes (yes, it is VERY slow...I realize). Today I got on the treadmill and did 2/1 intervals. I was able to finish 4.15 miles in 60 minutes so a nice improvement from Friday (the last time I ran).

Last week it started to dawn on me that perhaps I could actually still handle participating in one event during the Cleveland Marathon. I have done this race the last 2 years (the half marathon both times) and was planning to do the half marathon again this year. Then January happened and that all came crumbling down. My illness took so much out of me, that I didn't even think the 10k would be a viable option. However, now that I've resumed my activity I'm thinking I might be able to do the 10k.

2011

It would obviously be slow. But, really, this isn't that much different than usual for me. Last summer when I completed my first Olympic distance triathlon, I completed the run portion (a 10k) in 1:35:31. My best (and only other) 10k time is 1:17:xx and I would be targeting around 1:30:xx for this 10k as my first race back. The race is 3 weeks from yesterday. I ran/walked 4 miles both Friday and today. That means I only have to build up 2 more miles in the next 3 weeks. I think I can totally do that considering I've built from 0 to 4 miles in 2 weeks. I mean, I really just started exercising again 2 weeks ago. In those 2 weeks I went from walking a 5k in 60 minutes to run/walking over 4 miles in those same 60 minutes. I have been pleasantly surprised at how easily the fitness is coming back. Sure, I'm slow...but I've always been slow. I will likely continue to be slow until this weight comes off and I'm actually starting to be OK with that. At least I'm doing it.

2012

What's the worst that could happen?? I don't finish for some reason. I don't really see that happening. Since the 10k is part of the half and full marathons, I don't even think there is a time cut-off, but even if there is it would usually be around a 16 min/mile....that would be just under 1:40. I truly believe that if I could do a full marathon at less than a 15 min/mile, I can do this 10k in less than a 16 m/m. Yes, I'm bigger than I want to be, but I'm only 7lbs more than when I completed the half marathon in Cleveland 2 years ago. I crossed that finish line in 2:56:33 (13:28 m/m).

The more I write, the more I think my decision is made. I guess only time will tell. You'll have to wait until May 19th to find out what I decided!

But, tell me your thoughts....should I do the 10k in 3 weeks??

Working my way back

Last week was a successful week! I tracked the entire week, stayed within my points and earned 31 activity points by working out 5 days. I didn't necessarily follow my training plan, but I did something 5 out of 7 days, and for that I'm proud.

Planned week:

15	16	17	18	19	20	21
Swim 100 yds. Walk 20 min.	Bike 2 miles	Swim 100 yds Walk 20 min		Swim 100 yds Bike 2 miles	Walk 25 min	Bike 2 miles

Actual week:

15	16	17	18	19	20	21
Walked 3.1 miles on treadmill in 60 min.	Treadmill 30 min 1.5 miles	Walk 45 min outside	Bike 8 miles in 46 minutes			Walk 30 min outside

Lots of walking....one day of riding and no swimming. I definitely need to get back into swimming soon. I'm not a fast swimmer (I'm clearly not a fast anything), but swimming has always been my strongest part of the triathlon. As a result, I'm not too concerned about building back up to a sprint distance swim. I'm still 16 weeks out from the triathlon, which is plenty of time for me to build up my swim to 750 meters. Perhaps my focus next week will be to get at least one day of swimming in.

And the result of a successful week back on track?!?! A 3.6 lb weight loss. I'll take it!

_________________________________________________________
This week has been a little more of a challenge. I feel like I am keeping myself held together by a thread. It's Wednesday and the bad news is that I've already used a huge chunk of my weekly points. The good news is that I've also already earned 30 activity points (2 hours of yard work adds up quickly!) However, if I only have 16 weekly points remaining, that means in 2 days I've eaten all 30 of my activity points, plus 33 of my weekly points. Here's where my mind starts making things difficult for me. I feel like I'm doing something "wrong"; that I'm being "bad" because I've eaten so many extra points each day. However, I'm still within my points. I earned those activity points and I still have weekly points remaining. It's also only Wednesday, which means I'm going to earn more activity points as well. There's no reason to think that just because I ate more these last 2 days, that I'll fall off the wagon this week. But this is the fight I have within me right now. The devil is telling me to just throw in the towel for the rest of the week and get back on track next week. BUT THAT IS STUPID!!!! I can easily lose weight again this week if I just stick to the plan. Continue tracking, continue exercising, and stay within my points. This really doesn't have to be this hard. Sure, I usually like to save my weekly points for the weekend so I can splurge a little on the weekends, but that just can't happen this week and that's OK.

On a positive note....guess what I did Monday?!?! I incorporated running intervals during my walk! And what's even better?? It felt awesome! I actually felt like I probably could have done more, but decided not to push it. I did 1/2 intervals (so 1 min run/2 min walk) after a 5 minute warm up. I am actually quite surprised at how quickly my fitness is coming back. It makes me hopeful for what I might be able to accomplish when I get this weight off of me. Of course the only way to do that is to stay on track! And that's what I plan to do!

I AM a runner!

I have been trying to compose this blog post since Monday. I can't seem to find the right words and I feel like I don't want to offend anyone with anything I say. (not that I really think anything I have to say would be offensive).

The post I was going to write on Monday was about what a great day back on track I was having. I tracked all my food, stayed within my points and got 2 hours of activity in (an hour on the treadmill and an hour shoveling gravel). However, after finding out about the explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, those things no longer seemed important.

So now, after several days, I'm finding my words. The tragedy at the Boston Marathon has had what I feel is an interesting impact on me. I, like all of you I'm sure, am sickened, angry, outraged, and saddened by these events. However, as a runner, I have other feelings as well. The most interesting thing to me is that it took this horrific event for me to truly feel like I can call myself a runner. For those of you who have been reading my blog from the start know that I have a hard time putting that label on myself.

It's silly, really. I mean, I have finished 4 half marathons, 2 triathlons, a full marathon, a 10 miler, a 10k, and a few other smaller distance races. At what point will I feel like I deserve to say I'm a runner? I don't know. But, I know now that whether I feel like I deserve it or not, I am a runner. And after Monday I feel like I want to become a better runner. I want to be even more of a runner. I am itching to get back out there and RUN even though right now I'm starting back slow. (not that I was fast before, HA, but you know what I mean).

After the Columbus Marathon I said that I absolutely wanted to experience another marathon at some point. I promised myself and my family that I would not try that marathon until there was a 1 as the first number in my weight. I intend to keep that promise (for several reasons). But, at this moment (because I'm sure it'll change), I have more drive to hit that goal than I did before. You see, I NEVER had any desire to strive for Boston. Perhaps it was because I thought there is no way in God's green earth that I could ever think of finishing 26.2 in the times that would be necessary to qualify for Boston so why bother even thinking about it. But now....now I want it. Who knows if I'll ever get there. I mean, to go from a 6:28 finish to a 3:40 finish would be somewhat of a freaking miracle, but who knows. And why not go for it? Why not use this fire I have in me right now to meet some more out of this world goals? Goals that some might say are unattainable.

But there was a day - not that long ago - that I thought this was unattainable:

Crossing the finish line....

Yet I did it.

I thought this was something that I should wait to do until I was smaller:

My first sprint tri

Yet I did it (before being "smaller") and finished...not last!

So I've done crazy things in the past and have succeeded. Perhaps the most crazy thing yet will be to actually LOSE this weight. Heck, that might even be a crazier thought than me crossing the finish line at a future Boston Marathon! But seriously....who knows if this will even be a goal that I work toward in the future. Obviously this is not something that would happen anytime soon (if at all), but why not keep it in the back of my head to keep me moving forward? What I do know is that on Tuesday when I wanted to eat for no reason, it is what kept me from eating.

And on that note...it has been a very successful week so far! As of right now I still have all 49 of my weekly points remaining, and I've earned 28 activity points so far this week. We'll see what the scale says Monday, but I think I've finally gotten back on the wagon! Now to just stay here......

3 for 3...so far

The good news?? Here's what my training schedule looks like so far this week:

8	9	10	11	12	13	14
P: Walk 20 min. A: TM 40 min, 2 miles	P: Bike 2 miles A: Bike 4.5 miles	P: Walk 20 min A: TM 43 min 2.2 miles		P: Swim 50 yds./Bike 2 miles A:	P: Walk 25 min A:	P: Bike 2 miles A:

(P=planned; A=actual; TM=treadmill)

3 days so far this week of planned activity and 3 days of actual activity. It felt absolutely awesome to be back at it. I honestly didn't even care about the fact that I'm starting back at square one. I didn't push myself to do more than was required (even though I did). I had no issue with the fact that I walked on the treadmill at 3 MPH (or a 20 min/mile pace). I'm starting back slowly and I'm actually OK with that.

The bad news?? My diet still sucks. But, I did say that this week I was going to focus on my activity first and I am doing that. But, I think I'm there. I think I've hit my rock bottom with my weight gain and my diet and I'm ready to make that change (again). There's no reason I can't do this. I've done it before. I need to do it again and figure out how to keep going. This will have to be forever for me. I will never be able to stop tracking what I eat and being mindful of how much I'm eating. Even WHEN I get to my goal weight, I will have to continue to do the things I did to lose weight, only I might be able to eat a few hundred calories more each day to maintain my weight instead of lose. But, it's not like I'm going to be able to go back to eating like a fool.

One of my favorite sayings of late is, "Success is a journey, not a destination." I have no idea who said it or where it came from (I believe my SIL said it to me at some point and I fell in love). It is just SO true for a lot of things, but definitely for my fitness/health journey. There is really no destination for this journey. When I hit my weight goal (what most people would think of as a destination), it can't be over, or the weight will just pile back on like it's always done. The journey will need to keep going. The success will only come when the journey continues on forever. Infinity. And that, my friends, is what I need to start now. My infinite journey....my success.