#noexcuses Week 11

We are already at 11 weeks; can you even believe it?!?! 

75 days are done and only 37 more to go. 

This also marks the first time I've lost 4 weeks in a row since
the challenge started so I should be really happy.

I have now tracked for 12 days in a row so I feel good about that. I realized when I made that post about there being 50 days remaining in the challenge I was wrong. From that day there were really only 49. The Monday of the final weigh in would be day 50. My goal was to track for 50 days in a row because I truly don't think I've ever done that. Even though May 6th is day 50 and I will be weighing in before I eat anything that day; I am still going to stick to my goal of tracking for 50 days in a row. That means that even though the challenge is technically over, I will be tracking on that Monday. 

Let's talk about week 11, shall we? Week 11 was a very interesting week for me. It was a horrible mental week so it wasn't fun at all. I struggled a ton this week with eating for no reason. Like I said above, I've been tracking for the past 12 days so I tracked everything I ate (as accurately as I could), but I really struggled with feelings of guilt all week. After Saturday I not only tracked, but kept my calories within my net calorie goal so there was no real reason to feel guilty about my choices. The problem was that there were several days this week that I was snacking just to snack. I wasn't even actually hungry but I kept snacking. That is where the guilt came in to play. Old habits and all. It's frustrating to have come as far as I have come and to still have to fight the same demons I had to fight 65+ pounds ago. The tracking did keep it in check so that was good. And because I kept tracking even through a mentally challenging week I was able to see a loss on the scale this morning so I should be feeling really good about my week today; but I'm not. I mean, the fact that I did lose weight shows me (for the billionth time) that calories in/calories out is what matters when trying to lose weight. 

I added up my calorie deficit for the week and it amounted to what should be just under a pound lost. The scale this morning showed me a 0.8 pound loss. So I had a tough week but I was able to keep it in check enough to lose weight. I am happy about that; I just want to be even better. I want to not be the type of person who wants to eat just to eat. I don't think I'm ever going to be that person though so I need to just move on from that and be satisfied when I win the battle enough to still lose weight. Every tenth of a pound adds up. I mean, there are 39 Saturdays left in 2019 and if I only lost 0.8 every week I would still be down another 31.2 pounds. It wouldn't get me to my goal weight this year,  but I already said I didn't care about that. Now I need to go back to actually believing that. It's amazing how quickly things shift. When I wrote this post on January 4th I truly believed that I no longer cared when I reached my goal weight. So what has happened since then?

Well, in the process of feeling so good and positive I started realizing that if I could keep that momentum going I actually could reach my goal weight this calendar year; without having to lose much more than 1 pound per week. This easily shifted my mindset to actually want to hit that number this year. Which in turn put more pressure on myself to be "perfect" so I can reach that goal. Sigh. I know that the minute I start focusing on how fast I'm losing the weight I inevitably become too crazy about it and am unhappy in this process. What's interesting is I think I'm getting better at seeing the difference between long term and short term goals though. Last year when I wanted to hit 195 before our Disney trip I was able to do that because it was only 55 days away. This year, when I wanted to hit 188 for the 8 week mark of the challenge, I was able to do that because it was only 8 weeks. 

I haven't talked about my goal weight on this blog yet. Up to this point I've kept saying that I don't have a goal weight and that's still partly true. I don't know what number on the scale I am going to want to try to maintain; but I do have a number that I want to hit at least once. When I hit that number I will have a better idea of what I want to do. That elusive number is 150.6 and I want to hit that number because that will be 100 pounds lost from my absolute highest weight I ever recorded. What's amazing is that I actually believe that I can and will hit that number. It may not happen in 2019, but I know I am going to hit it. The reason why that is amazing? Because I never believed that before. Go back and read this post from September 2012. In that post I talk about how I never believed that 150 pounds was a realistic weight for me to maintain. This was also the post where I talked about how my doctor at the time said she thought a healthy weight range for me would be 145-160 and I was ecstatic because I felt like 160 was way more attainable than 150. I am still not confident I can maintain 150 pounds, but I no longer feel like that's not a possibility. I'm even starting to wonder if I'll be able to hit a number even lower than that. Only time will tell for that. For now my focus is getting to my next benchmark of 175 pounds. 

#noexcuses Week 10

10 weeks down, only 6 to go. 

On Monday I posted about the fact that there were only 50 days remaining in this challenge. It is my goal to stay focused for the duration of these 50 days so that I have the best chance of meeting my weight goal for the end of the challenge. 

I think it would also be super cool to see a loss every week
for the last 8 weeks of the challenge. 2 weeks down...6 to go. 

I'm happy to report that days 1-5 were nearly perfect. My goal is to average a 750 calorie deficit per day. (Last post I said 700 calories/day deficit, but I decided in order to meet my week 16 goal I think I need to have it be a slightly higher calorie deficit). My average calorie deficit over the last 5 days was 864 so I am right where I want to be. I need my averages on Mon-Fri to be a little higher so I can have a little more freedom to eat more on the weekends. Today will be my first challenge since declaring my 50 day goals. I have given myself several Saturdays to eat without tracking. If not Saturday than usually Sunday (or Monday when Monday was my birthday). Basically, I've been giving myself at least 1 day per week to not track for the last several weeks. 

This is the 3rd week in a row that I've lost weight so clearly what I'm doing is working; but the new goal now is to track for 50 days. For as many years as I have been tracking my food, I don't think I have EVER tracked 50 days in a row. I almost want to succeed in this challenge just to prove to myself that I can. 

Ok, so like I said above, the goal is to average a 750 calorie deficit each day. To me that means that I can (and will) have days when that calorie deficit is less (or non-existent) and days where it is well over 750. For example, I didn't eat that much on Monday. I had actually given myself both Saturday AND Sunday last weekend so I was trying to get myself right back to it Monday. I also actually wasn't all that hungry. My calorie deficit Monday ended up being almost 1300 calories!

3-20-18 vs. 3-20-19

All that being said, my goal will not be to be "perfect" every single day for these 50 days. My goal will be to track everything I eat no matter what and then try my best to get myself back on track if I have a super high calorie day. If I look at my calories on a weekly basis it's easy to figure out what my weekly calories need to be in order to obtain that 750 calorie/day deficit. The hard part will be actually sticking to that weekly calorie goal 😉

One last thing to share though. This has been an amazing week for me. I have felt more lean this week than I have felt in forever. On Wednesday I was feeling particularly good so I decided to try on some of the smaller clothes my sister had given me last year. After I put them on and took a pic to text her, I saw in my memories from last year that I had posted a pic on that same day because I was so proud of where I was at. I couldn't even believe the difference that I was seeing in these two pics. I really feel like these last 10 pounds have made such a difference that it makes me excited to see what kind of changes these next 10 pounds will bring! And every time I want to eat something for no reason I remind myself of this and it helps to keep me on track. 

50 Days........

Day 1 of 50

Remember last year when I wrote this post 55 days before our trip to Disney? Today's post is going to be similar to that one. Last year it was April 2nd and I had 55 days before we were leaving for Disney and my goal weight was 12.6 pounds away. I had decided to set goals for myself during the course of those 55 days so I could meet my pre-vacation weight goal. I ended up hitting that goal around day 28 and went to our Disney vacation having lost an additional 3 pounds.

But really I think it's time to go back 😉

So now I have 50 days remaining in the #NOEXCUSES Lifestyle Challenge. I am 10.8 pounds away from my ultimate 16 week goal. 10.8 pounds in 50 days is more than attainable, but not without work. It is time for me to get ultra focused on this short term goal. 

The plan for the next 50 days? It's simple. Track my food; average a 700 calorie deficit per day; workout 6 days per week; drink a gallon of water a day. I have been doing most of these things since the start of the challenge, but the goal is to be even more consistent over these next 50 days. 

If I do these things and don't reach that 16 week goal I really can't be mad. I will have done everything in my power to hit that goal. However, I kind of find it hard to believe that if I do all those things I won't meet that 16 week goal. 

Day 1 of 50 was as perfect as possible. I started my day with a Living Lean workout; I tracked my food and focused on making the healthiest choices when I was hungry - and only when I was hungry (not just because I wanted to eat). I actually ended my day today having eaten only 1188 calories, which will amount to somewhere around a 1200+ calorie deficit. Obviously every day won't be like this (nor should it, frankly), but days like this will help offset those days when I have no calorie deficit because I am sure there will be at least a couple of those days in the next 50 days; and when that happens it will be OK. The plan is to average a daily 700 calorie deficit; which means there will be times when I have more than that and times when I have less than that.  

One last thing....in case you're wondering.....I have succeeded thus far in having NO alcohol for the duration of the challenge. I have not had one drop of alcohol since the start of the challenge; not on my birthday, not at the awards ceremony to celebrate the completion of the first 8 weeks, not ever. In my blog post on Jan 13th I stated that I would give up alcohol for the duration of the 16 week challenge and that is exactly what I have done. 50 more days and there is no way I'm giving up on this goal now. I can't wait to see where I am on day 50!

#noexcuses Week 9

This has been an interesting week to say the least. I was so excited about my 8 week results and was proud of myself for staying so strict last weekend (so that those official 8 week results were as good as they were). Monday was my birthday and although I started the day with tracking my food, I eventually stopped tracking and definitely indulged the rest of the day. I then went back to trying to keep my calories on the low side the rest of the week because I wanted to be sure to at least see the same number on the scale today as was on it Monday.

Figured this background was appropriate since baseball will have
started again by the time we're done with these next 4 weeks!

I succeeded in that (the scale was exactly the same today as it was Monday morning even though I ate way too much on Monday), but had some serious mental struggles this week. The reason why I say this week has been interesting is because the struggles were there for no real reason. It would make sense if I was struggling because I was just SO hungry while trying to keep my calories low. But I wasn't. It didn't matter though; every day this week I had to fight with myself to NOT eat for no reason. And almost every time I fought with myself I was not anywhere near hungry. That was seriously beyond frustrating.

I have been on this journey for a long time. I have been fighting these demons for years and although I am getting better at winning the fights; it annoys the crap out of me that I still have them. It annoys me that when I am 65 pounds lighter than my heaviest, I can still have days where I easily consume as many calories as I used to.

I've been thinking about this this week and I actually think I am not consuming as much as I used to when I was at my highest, but because I am consuming way more than I should be or need to, I feel like I'm eating just as much as I used to. That sentence just made it sound like I have been consuming that much food all the time. I haven't been. I'm just saying that those days (like Monday) when I give myself the freedom to eat what I want I'm surprised at what I am still able to eat even after losing so much weight. I guess it just reiterates the fact that this journey will never have an end date. My life is going to look pretty similar to this even when I am where I want to be with my weight.

Obviously I am making improvements and that's what I need to continue to focus on. We just completed the 9th week of this challenge and I managed to lose weight 7 of the 9 weeks. One of those 2 times that I didn't lose I had maintained. The one week that I gained, I lost what I gained + more than a pound the following week. I need to stop getting frustrated when I'm not perfect. I clearly am still doing this thing even when I'm not perfect.

Every time I do something like stop eating when I start to feel full or don't eat just because I want to; I need to take that as a win. I need to realize that every time I win one of those battles is an improvement and when I don't win one of those battles it doesn't mean I'm a failure. It also doesn't mean that I haven't changed. I am changing but I think sometimes it is hard to see it because the change has been pretty gradual. If I wasn't changing I wouldn't be 65 pounds lighter today than I was in 2014. And perhaps these changes are more likely to stick because they've taken so damn long to happen.

So this week was interesting because I feel so good about where I'm at and am so proud of myself on one hand; while on the other I continue to be hard on myself because it should be "easier" by now. Or because even on my free days I should just naturally eat less than I used to. Or because I shouldn't have to fight with myself on a daily basis not to eat out of boredom. That should is a dirty word and I really just need to stop using it. It may not feel easier, but I am winning those battles way more than I used to so whether it's easier or not, I'm doing it.

#noexcuses Lifestyle Challenge 8 week RESULTS

I was super excited about my results last year. To recap - last year I lost 14.4 pounds and 3.2 body fat percentage points. That amounted to 6.5% of my starting weight and 7.6% of my starting body fat percentage. I also lost a total of 14.25 inches in those 8 weeks. I was very happy with those results last year, and after a relatively rough March I got right back to it in April last year and lost even more weight.

On to this year........

Starting Stats from Living Lean (1/12/19):
Weight = 203.8
Body Fat = 38.6%

Measurements that I took (I kind of wish LL took the measurements too since I feel like they're more accurate when someone else does them. But, I've been doing my own for years so it is what it is)!
Waist = 34"

Transformation for this first 8 weeks

Belly = 38"
Hips = 43.5"
Chest = 34.5"
Bust = 39"
Rt. Arm = 13.125"
Rt. Thigh = 24"

8 week stats from LL (3/11/19):
Weight = 186.2 (-17.6)
Body Fat = 35.6% (-3)
That amounts to 8.6% of my starting weight and 7.7% of my starting body fat.

Measurements:
Waist = 31.75" (-2.25")
Belly = 36" (-2")
Hips = 41.125" (2.375")
Chest = 32.25 (-2.25")
Bust = 37.625" (-1.375")
Rt. Arm = 12 (-1.125")
Rt. Thigh = 23.5" (-.5")

That's just under 12" lost in these 8 weeks. I did lose more inches last year, but I think that's definitely easier to do when you weigh more and have more to lose. I am more than happy with these results.

My goal for the first 8 weeks was to lose 14.4 pounds. I chose that number because it was what I lost last year and I figured that if I could lose the same number of pounds it would amount to a higher percentage of weight lost since I was starting at a lower weight. Based on the numbers on the LL scale, that would mean my goal weight for the 8 week mark was 189.4. I can NOT even believe I beat that number by 3.2 pounds! I worked for these results though. When my home scale was 188 on Saturday (which was down 14.4 pounds from my home scale on 1/12/19), I knew I had the chance to have the scale be lower than 189.4 at LL on Monday morning. I kept my calories low (just under 1400, so not crazy low or anything) on Saturday and Sunday and it worked beautifully!

Transformation from Jan last year. 

This is now twice that I have met a number goal that I set for myself; the first time being pre-Disney trip last year. Prior to these 2 times I have never met a number goal I set for myself and let me tell you this feels amazing! It is so incredibly motivating to keep going. These weren't easy goals to meet, but they (clearly) weren't impossible either. I need to remember that and continue to be smart and conservative. It's tempting to change my week 16 goal to lose 17lbs again; but I'm not going to do that. Maintaining a high average rate of weight loss is only going to get harder the longer I do it and the less I weigh. I will not starve myself to reach a number on the scale by a certain date. I already decided that hitting a "goal" weight by a certain date is not entirely important to me. As much as winning this challenge would be amazing, I am not going to risk my health (or more importantly my mental health) to do it. My original goal was to be between 175 and 180 by week 16. In order to hit that 175 I would need to lose 11.2 pounds in the next 8 weeks. That amounts to an average of 1.4 pounds per week. I am confident that I can do that as long as I can remain focused. Every time I hit a goal I set for myself the motivation to keep going increases. Also, throughout this process I continue to learn and grow. This hasn't been something I've only been working on for the last year; I have been on this journey for at least 5 years and frankly even longer than that. The last year just happens to be when things finally started to click for me.

These numbers likely won't mean me getting the 8 week prize, but the real prize is exactly what's happening. It would obviously be amazing to win one of the prizes, but if I weigh 175 pounds or anywhere close to it on May 6th, I will have won so much more than money!

Here's to the next 8 weeks!

#noexcuses WEEK 8!

We are already at the first "checkpoint" of the 16 week challenge. Honestly these 8 weeks have absolutely flown by. My official weigh in at Living Lean isn't going to happen until Monday, but since I have been weighing myself on Saturdays throughout the challenge I will report that weight today. I am so excited to report that my weight today is EXACTLY what I wanted it to be. 

Last year my official results for the LL Challenge were that I lost 14.4 pounds. On my home scale I was down 14.8 in those 8 weeks - so pretty comparable. I had that 14.4 in my head as my goal for the first 8 weeks of this challenge because I wanted to do at least as well as I did last year. But actually, losing 14.4 this year would be better than last year because my starting weight was significantly less. Those 14.4 pounds last year amounted to 6.5% of my starting weight. As of this morning, those 14.4 pounds this year amounted to 7.1% of my starting weight. Needless to say, I am beyond happy with these results. 

I'll post more next week with my official weigh in results as well as my body fat percentage results and my measurements. Last year my body fat went down 3.2% (from 42.2% to 39%). I'm hoping for at least comparable results. Again, I don't think these numbers are winning numbers for the contest; but I am very happy with my results regardless of what happens next week. 

The key now is to keep this momentum going. If I can average the same rate of weight loss through these next 8 weeks I will hit my 16 week goal. I know I can do it, I just have to continue to want to do it. 

#noexcuses Week 7

Happy March!

One more week left until the first weigh in for the #noexcuses Lifestyle Challenge. I have a number goal in mind for next Monday, but I am trying to remind myself that it does not matter if I don't hit that goal. Goal setting is such a slippery slope for me. I am pretty positive that the one and only time I have ever hit a number goal was last year when I destroyed my pre-Disney goal.

I maintained on the scale this week, which means I am still 1.2 pounds away from that number goal I had set for myself for week 8. 1.2 is completely doable in one week, but I was pretty sure I would have hit it this week. I gave myself a splurge day last Saturday, but was spot on the rest of the week. My total calorie deficit last week was over 4500 calories, which should amount to more than a one pound loss on the scale; but it didn't. I know that it doesn't always happen the way it should, but learning to let go of that isn't going to  happen overnight.

I had grandiose plans of staying completely on track until the 8 week weigh in on March 11th, but I completely derailed today. March is notoriously a tough month because we have lots of birthdays. My daughter's birthday starts it off on March 1st. I was super proud of staying on track on both Friday and Saturday (through birthday tacos and homemade crumbcake). The pizza, chip/dip and crumbcake that's in the house for Mary's party today kind of did me in. Oh well. Such is life. I can still have more than a 3500 calorie deficit between tomorrow and March 11th, but as was just proven this past week, that doesn't necessarily mean the scale will cooperate. So, all I can do is try and the scale will do what it is going to do.

In other news, February was a pretty good month for my weight loss. From 2/1 to 3/1 I lost 8 pounds. I don't think I really put a number out there in my last couple of posts when I was talking about the time it takes to lose weight; but I (of course) have a goal in my mind. If I could average a loss of 4-5 pounds per month I would be beyond ecstatic. Looking at my weight loss so far this year I am right on track with that goal and that makes me super happy. My loss between Jan 1st and March 1st is 10.8 pounds (remember, the reason why my weight loss for the challenge is higher is because I gained a few pounds between 1/1 and 1/12 when the challenge started).

BUT, I need to continuously remind myself that if I don't hit a goal I set for myself it doesn't matter! It is totally OK to set goals to have something to work towards, but it doesn't mean I'm a failure if I don't reach those goals.....especially if I still end up at a lower weight than where I started. If I set a goal to lose 14 lbs in the first 8 weeks of the challenge and end up losing 13 does that mean I failed? Obviously not. Why is it so hard for me to remember that? I'm having a moment today where I need to remind myself of this fact. It is amazing to me how I can have a week (or 2 even) where I feel so positive and so happy and then all of the sudden my brain switches back to my old way of thinking and I feel like what I'm doing is not enough.

I need to remember to focus on those NSV's. This past week I may not have lost weight but I got on my treadmill yesterday and ran 52 minutes with no walk breaks. It wasn't fast, but it was 52 minutes of straight running. I am pretty sure I have never done that before. Also, last week when I went out shopping (to keep myself from eating), I bought new workout pants and they were a size medium!!! WHAT?!?! I honestly can't remember the last time I wore a medium. I also bought a new tank top for myself to help remind me what the goal really is. You can't read it since it's backwards in the pic, but the shirt says Goal Weight: STRONG AF! It's not a great pic, but I'll share it anyway; those are the medium pants that I had just bought and my new tank top. My arms may be my biggest insecurity (because, really, they are SO huge), but look at that muscle! There may be a lot of fat on the bottom of that arm, but there is no denying the muscle that is there either. The scale isn't everything and perhaps one of these days I will actually believe that!

On to week 8........