Turkey Trot

Well, I have officially decided that there will be no turkey's from this house trotting this year. I'm a little saddened by it, but know that, for me, this was the best decision. One reason it makes me a little sad is because I've done this race for several years. Aurora started their turkey trot in 2007. I did not do it that year, but proceeded to participate in 2008, 2010 and 2011. I had every intention of doing it this year, but life has just gotten in the way.

The grand plan was that we were going to do this 4 mile run as a family. After our family 5k a few weeks back, we decided the kids could probably handle it. However, then I decided that they actually struggled through 3.1 and would probably find 4 pretty difficult. This year the race announced that they are adding a 1 mile "mashed potato run" for kids. So the kids were going to do that.

Then earlier this week Mary got sick. Then the husband got sick. I'm hosting the 2nd of 2 Thanksgivings in 5 days tomorrow. We're getting ready to go on vacation. I had to work like crazy to get all my work done before vacation. And on and on and on.....

Yea. So, I've been slightly stressed. Yesterday I decided this was one thing I could take off my plate. I'm not going to even discuss the fact that THIS is the precise reason I'm overweight.....because the things I take off my plate are running and diet. But, it's what I decided I could give up. I'm OK with this decision. I made it and feel fine about it.

So tomorrow I will perhaps remember to watch at least some of the parade; will clean my house for Thanksgiving Take 2; and will enjoy the day with the in-laws. And then before I know it we'll be on our way to Disney for an awesome, much needed vacation!

And with that I leave you on this lovely Thanksgiving Eve. I hope that everyone has a most wonderful Thanksgiving Day tomorrow.

Thanksgiving Take 1

For many, many years my family has been celebrating Thanksgiving on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My mom started this tradition WAY back when I was still in high school because she was sick of having to share the day. She had three girls who would spend the majority of the day with their boyfriends and then come home to barely eat the food she had slaved over all day. She didn't like it (and now that I do Thanksgiving, I TOTALLY get it). So one year she decided she was going to move Thanksgiving; that way everyone could win. We could still get to spend the day with our boyfriends (and eventually husbands) and she could still have all of the family together for an entire day with no interruptions. She decided to choose the Saturday after Thanksgiving because the first year she did this, my sister had started working and she worked the Friday after. It worked out so well that first year that we've done it ever since. I've probably never thanked my mom for making this initial decision, but I should (so THANKS MOM) because it makes life so much easier for this one holiday. No fighting about which house to spend it at. No traveling from one huge meal to the next. No switching off years, etc, etc. It's awesome!

The cousins..Samantha, Mary and Parker.

Then my parents went and moved to Wisconsin for my Dad's work. They would come back here for Thanksgiving, since it made more sense for 2 of them to travel here than all of us travel to them. My sisters and I decided that we would take turns hosting Thanksgiving (and Christmas). Since there's 3 of us, one person would get a year off every few  years. I'm pretty positive I did that first Thanksgiving after my mom left. I was pregnant with Mary, so that was 9 years ago. Each of my sisters did the next 2 Thanksgivings, but by the next time it was my turn I had decided that I really LOVED hosting Thanksgiving so my sisters very willingly let me take over the holiday.

I did give up one year...2 years ago when my parents moved back to Ohio and my mom wanted to host the holiday again. I didn't give it up easily! I had gotten very used to hosting and came to love it and look forward to it every year. But, I let her have it and we had discussed the option of trading off each year. Then, she hosted it and decided I could have it back! :)

This year we switched the Saturday due to some scheduling conflicts on my end. I continue to be thankful that my family is so flexible! So yesterday was our Thanksgiving.

I think that yesterday has to go down in the history books as one of the best Thanksgivings!

Planning their offensive strategy.

Every year I get stressed out and flustered as I'm making the meal. I yell and even cuss (how dare me) when something (everything it seems) doesn't go as planned. I get frustrated when the turkey finishes 2 HOURS before I thought it would and yell when the cheese sauce boils over in the microwave. Every year something happens to frustrate me. But every year, we all come together. Everyone deals with my neuroses and doesn't even say anything (except maybe get out of her way). We eventually all joke about it after more wine has been had and laugh at how I freak out every year and every year it always turns out beautifully (and yummy)!

Love!

This year we had decided that we were going to start a new tradition of playing some family football in the backyard. The original plan was to play football BEFORE dinner, since after eating all that turkey, no one would feel like playing football. However, since the turkey was done at 1 instead of 3, we were eating around 2ish. I was disappointed not to play football and the boys were playing catch with Robbie while the girls were getting all the sides ready for dinner. This was so he wouldn't freak out about not getting to play football as planned (he IS my son afterall - doesn't like when things don't go as planned)!

However, since we ate so early and it was SO nice outside, we still played football. We had long enough to let our stomachs settle a little and to drink more wine (or beer), which definitely makes for some fun and interesting football. Every single person present at this Thanksgiving played football. The kids only whined a little about not getting the ball enough or not getting a touchdown. But all in all we kept things upbeat and fun.

TOUCHDOWN!!

It was truly an awesome day.

Next up is Thanksgiving with the in-laws. Usually Thanksgiving day happens at my mother in-laws. However, this year, I offered to do Thanksgiving for my mother in law. She's currently fighting lung cancer (that's another long story) and will just be traveling back from Tennessee on Thursday after her treatment. When we were discussing what to do for Thanksgiving this year I had commented that I would be happy to host here. I mean, why not right? What's putting together 2 Thanksgivings in 5 days? She graciously provided the money for it when I explained that paying for 2 Thanksgivings might be a little tough.

So, on Thursday I will host a second round of Thanksgiving. And I'm sure it'll be just as awesome as the first one!

Post Marathon Blues (& Reds)

Ugh...I've been working on this darn post all week. This is just a sign of how things have been going.

But the good news is that I have my official marathon pics to bombard  you with today!

I realize I haven't been blogging that long, and I believe most people who read this blog are my friends and relatives. But for the few readers I may have lurking out there who don't know me in real life, I'm guessing by now they have probably realized that when I go days in between blog posts it's because I'm struggling and don't know what to talk about.

My absolute favorite pic. In the 'Shoe....

As it is, I feel like more of my posts are negative or talk about how this is so hard and I'm just really sick of being a broken record. But, this blog is honest and real, if nothing else. Am I perfect? Far from it. Did this blog miraculously make me change and stick to my healthy eating and exercise? Nope. But, it does keep me coming back. I enjoy blogging. It is therapeutic for me in ways. So I guess I won't worry about being a broken record and will just write what I need to write.

Prior to the marathon I worried about experiencing the "post marathon blues". The time after the marathon where you realize that you worked for 6 months to achieve this goal and, now what?? I was excited the week after the marathon to realize that I didn't feel sad at all! I was still riding on my high and excited for what was to come. I had started thinking about what's next and was making plans to achieve that.

I was struggling, but still have a smile on my face!

Fast forward to now and I realize that I am, in fact, experiencing the "post race blues". Call it whatever you like, but ever since the marathon I have been struggling. In every aspect of the word.

The races that I did the first 2 weeks after the marathon were a blessing because I actually worked out those weeks.Yup. It's THAT bad. Last weekend I was planning to do the Turkey Trot in a city near me, but when I realized on Friday night that I hadn't registered yet; I decided to pass. If it weren't for playing soccer, I would have gotten no physical activity last week.

I can't even discuss eating. It's been anything but good, and I can't seem to get back on track.

To make matters worse, my Crohn's has been flaring again. Perhaps it was the marathon; perhaps my current stress level, but whatever it is; my stomach doesn't like it. This causes a nasty cycle. (and is where the "red" in the title comes from. lovely...I know). It's very emotional for me when I don't feel well. And then everything else goes by the wayside.

And, as if I need more things, I have been very stressed lately with having too much to do and not enough time to do it in (I know, don't we all??). But, I haven't been dealing with it well. I have a much needed vacation coming up and I plan to take full advantage of it. When my vacation ends, it's time to get SERIOUS.

Call it what you will, but I know myself and I know what's realistic or what is just going to cause guilt. I know that I'm not going to get 100% back on track until after my vacation. I know that between 2 Thanksgivings and a vacation, I will not get enough on track to really call it being back on track. I know that even if I have a few good days here and there that it won't be "perfect". So, I'm not going to make a big declaration right now about how I'm going to get back on track, yadda yadda. I will try to be better. I will try to get some more activity in; but I will ENJOY myself as much as I can. I will make this decision consciously and NOT feel any guilt about it. The guilt is what gets me every time.

So, there you have it. Confession done. Moving on....

Crohn's Disease

I'm thinking that I've probably mentioned this somewhere on my blog, at some time, but I can't remember for sure. And, since I'm fairly certain that the majority of people who read this blog are people who know me personally, you all probably already know this. But anyway...I have Crohn's Disease. I was diagnosed in 2006 after having Robbie and experiencing symptoms throughout my pregnancy. I experienced symptoms throughout my pregnancy with Mary as well, but they went away immediately after having her (like while I was still in the hospital) and didn't come back (well, till pregnant with Robbie), so I never got it checked out back then.

Little did I know that the symptoms I experienced with my pregnancies were really NOTHING compared to what Crohn's can do. And frankly, I know little now (thank God). But I know more than I used to (unfortunately).

I'm bringing this up now because 2012 has been a rough year for me and my lovely Crohn's. But, let's give some background for those who don't know the gritty details. Yup. I'm sure you all really want to know all about my Crohnsing....if you don't, move on...there's nothing to read here! ; )

So, as I was saying, in 2006 after giving birth to Robbie I was still having issues. I wasn't having any pain perse, just things no one wants to talk about happening in the bathroom. My OB was well aware of these problems because they started around my 20th week of pregnancy with Robbie (and around my 17th week of pregnancy with Mary). No pain, just a red toilet EVERY time I attempted to go...not something a pregnant woman wants to see when she's on the toilet! Let me tell you how much it freaked me out the first time it happened! TMI?? Yup...if you're still reading there will be more of that!

With Mary the bleeding literally stopped in the hospital the minute she was born. The first...ah-hem..."movement" I had after she was born was totally and completely normal. I almost forgot what one of those looked like! I never experienced the other stuff again so I thought nothing of it (as did my doctors). Fast forward to my pregnancy with Robbie. It started happening again, but this time it took a few more weeks to show up. I was less freaked since it had happened before. My doctors tried all sorts of things thinking it must be internal hemorrhoids or something. Nothing ever "cleared it up". My OB decided it was just due to pressure on the bladder and what not and that as long as I'm not having problems due to it, we'll just monitor and see what happens after the baby was born.

I was expecting the same thing would happen and it would go away. But, 6 weeks after Robbie was born I went for my OB check up. It was still happening...with every movement. He decided to send me to a gastroenterologist for a consult. I went to that doc. They asked me a bunch of questions. Examined me and told me I had to get a colonoscopy to check things out. Ugh.

My colonoscopy was scheduled for November 1, 2006. For anyone who knows anything about colonoscopies, you know that you have to fast for the day before the procedure. And I had to do that on Halloween...with 2 kids (granted, 1 of them wasn't eating yet, but STILL)! But I digress....

I went to my colonoscopy and had one of the worst experiences of my life. The stuff they give you for the "twilight sleep" did nothing and I was awake, aware and crying through the entire procedure. Fun times.

After the procedure my doctor came to tell me that it "looks like I have Crohn's Disease". He said it with this somber look on his face, like he was diagnosing me with cancer or something. I had no idea what this meant and no idea why it was such a big deal. I'll come to learn - but it'll take me a while. He explained why it was Crohn's and not colitis (apparently it has to do with where the inflammation is and that there were healthy parts of the colon in between the inflamed parts - whatever - it meant nothing to me).

He gave me all sorts of medications and sent me on my way.

I recall that the inflammation cleared up relatively quickly once we figured out what it was and started treating it. I felt back to normal relatively quickly, which didn't help the cause of actually believing that I had some horrible life-long disease.

The medication I was prescribed was supposed to be taken 3 times per day. Yea...right. 1 time per day, easy...2 times per day...even doable. But 3 times per day...forgettaboutit! I took it diligently for a while. I felt better. Then, I'd miss a dose here...miss a dose there...and I would still feel fine. I started doubting that I had this horrible disease. I mean, how can I have this terrible disease, miss my medication, and still feel totally normal?? Little did I know....

In July 2007 we traveled to North Carolina for a family vacation. This is only important because I specifically remember that I forgot to take my medication for this ENTIRE week long trip. When we got back to town and I still felt totally fine after an entire week of no meds, I decided I didn't really need to take them anymore. Stupid? Ya think?? July 2007 stopped taking meds; June 2008 hospitalized for 4 days. Took a while, but consequences happened.

The flare that I experienced in 2008 was something I wasn't prepared for (obviously). It took me probably a month or so before I even realized what was wrong with me. At that point the only symptoms I had were during my pregnancies and those were not the symptoms I was experiencing this time. This time I was having severe stomach cramps and pain. The stuff in the bathroom wasn't necessarily pretty; but it wasn't red like it was all the time during my pregnancies. But, after a month of having an upset stomach; it dawned on me that perhaps this is something more than a stomach ache. I made an appointment with my doctor. He decided that since it had been 2 years since my first colonoscopy and given my symptoms, it was time for colonoscopy #2. And, enter another "worst" experience of my life. If I thought my first colonoscopy was bad, I didn't have a clue! There were issues with the doctor that I won't even get in to (talking to a nurse at the door while about to start my procedure). Then, the same thing with the drugs happened and again, I was awake and aware the entire time and in so much pain I couldn't control my crying. The results of the colonoscopy showed inflammation (duh!), so my doctor put me on steroids and sent me on my way. The difference between him and my first doctor was like night and day. First guy talked to me like he was giving me a death sentence and this guy talked so fast through the steroid stuff that my head was spinning...like it was no big deal.

I started on my lovely cocktail of medications and was hopeful that this would stop the pain. Would stop the midnight wake up calls from my stomach screaming at me. But it didn't. It continued to get worse. Now, I would have to lay down between doing things while getting ready for work because I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes. My mornings would go a little like this: wake up, sit on the toilet, think about showering, go to the bathroom again, get in the shower, dry myself off, go lay down because now I'm exhausted, get back to the bathroom, brush my hair, lay down, go to the bathroom....you get the idea. At some point in this routine I also had to get 2 kids ready to go to daycare and go to work. I would make it through my workday, but then repeat the routine at night. Eventually I called my doctor to ask him how long the steroids were supposed to take to kick in. He told me to pack a bag and go to the hospital. And there I sat. At the Cleveland Clinic Main Campus for 4 days. I had IV steroids going through my veins while they did other tests as well. The steroids worked wonders; but also did a number on my weight and my face.

But, after this hospital stay and finally being weened off the steroids, I was back to 100%. This time I was prescribed a medication I could take once a day. I took my medications diligently. But, for no reason (or so they say), and without warning....after nearly 4 years with no flare-ups whatsoever, my stomach starts to hurt in March this year. Again, it takes me a good 2 weeks to realize that these aren't just stomach aches that come and go. That they are probably Crohn's.

Even though I've now had this disease for 6 years, it's still new to me. In those 6 years I have only had 2 flares, so knowing when I'm having a flare is still a learning experience. I waited too long again before seeing my doctor this time. It was May before I saw him the first time. My colonoscopy this time didn't get scheduled until July. However, this time I got smart and asked to be totally put out for the procedure. I had to go to main campus, which was a pain, but I will do it every time! Made it a much more pleasant experience!

This time around I told my doctor I would really prefer not to be treated with steroids. He obliged and upped the dosage of my current meds and added another one. Of course increasing my dosage meant going from one time a day to 3 times a day again...and we all know how good I am with that. I have struggled all year with my Crohn's.

I'm writing this post today because today has been really bad. Today was bad enough that I even considered calling off sick to work. I have never yet called off work due to Crohn's. I've been struggling with my eating since the marathon and my Crohn's has been going crazy since that time as well. I think my body is telling me that it likes it significantly better when I'm not only eating healthy, but exercising. Another thing I've been struggling with since the marathon is working out. I've worked out once a week for the 2 weeks since the marathon. Not good. I think my body is in shock at the sudden change.

All the more reason why I need to realize that 2012 was a big year for me. I still managed to accomplish both of my big goals (Olympic triathlon & marathon) while dealing with Crohn's Disease in a way I haven't really had to deal with it yet. I managed to meet those goals in spite of this annoying disease. Now I need to shift my focus with getting back on track from wanting to do it for weight loss; to wanting to do it because the best I've felt all year was back in my first 2 weeks of re-joining weight watchers in August/September.

Ok. If anyone is still reading this; thanks. Sorry I went on for so long. 6 years is a long back-story. But now you know all about my Crohn's Disease.

Women Who Run

Saturday I was registered to run in the first Women Who Run race in Cleveland. It was billed as a women's only race with all things a woman would want about a race. They had 2 distances, a 1 mile "fun run" and 4 mile run. They were providing finisher's medals to all who finished (both distances), which I had a couple of feelings about (we'll get there). They had women's cut tech tee's, which I know most women like because they are cut smaller. But, I frankly can't stand most women's tech tee's because even the XL is skin tight on me and makes me feel....well....more than XL! But, when I registered for this race, the shirts actually went up to an XXL. As much as I HATE ordering that size, I knew that would mean that I would actually have at least 1 race shirt that fits me right now. I was happy about that. And, I was right. The shirt fits with a little bit of room. Although I'm not a fan of the white shirt.

I was contemplating inviting Mary to come do this race with me since we had such a good time last week. But then she was complaining of a headache on Friday and I thought she could use to sleep in. Also, the race was 4 miles and although she plans to do the turkey trot with me on Thanksgiving, I wasn't sure if she was ready for 4 miles just a week after her first ever 5k. So, I went it alone. I've been doing more and more races alone lately and honestly, I don't like it. I've run several races by myself over the last few years, but I've almost always at least gone with someone. It makes it so much more fun to have someone there with you...even if you don't run the actual race together. Of course the BEST time is when you go with someone AND run the race together (which is probably why I had SO much fun with my daughter last week). I swear I think I was the only one at the race on Saturday that didn't come with a friend or family member. It made me a little sad. Anyway....

The race started at the Galleria (again, same starting place as last week). They had their own little "expo" happening in the Galleria before the race. I saw a shirt I liked and probably would have bought it if I didn't leave my money in the car! The shirt said "I know I'm slow...Get Over It!" I hesitate buying something like that because I hope to become not so slow one of these days, but I figure even when I'm not so slow in my book, I'll still be slow compared to LOTS of other runners! As I'm waiting for 9AM to roll around and standing there by myself. The DJ person makes an announcement that the race has actually been changed to a 5k. Apparently the President was going to be at Burke Lakefront Airport so we needed to get done faster. I was a little bummed because frankly, I don't really like 5k's. Of course, around mile 2 I was quite happy that I was MORE than halfway done! 

I went into this race with no goals. I had thought about trying to run the entire thing with no walk breaks, but honestly, I haven't run at all since the 5k last Saturday (yea...it's been THAT bad). So, I knew that likely wasn't a realistic expectation. When it was supposed to be 4 miles, I also knew that I would likely not beat my current 4 mile PR so it's not like that was a realistic goal either. As I started running I was deciding in my head how to cover the distance. This is never a good idea! I should have known that! I started with thinking that perhaps I should just to run to mile 1, take a 1 minute walk break, run to mile 2, walk break, etc. So, I didn't take a walk break until mile 1. I finished the first mile in about 11:06. I was pretty happy with that. But, apparently that was a little too fast. I took about 2 or maybe 3 walk breaks in the 2nd mile and took a little over 12 to finish the 2nd mile (I think). At this point I started thinking that I should just try to beat my time from last week. What's funny about this was that for some reason I had 36:16 in my head. I got the numbers mixed up. I looked at my watch when 30 minutes had elapsed and was then getting discouraged because I didn't think I could finish by 36 minutes. Therefore, I was about to end this race having not met a single (non-existent) goal. This is why I need to have a plan BEFORE the race; otherwise I make goals "on the fly" and still get discouraged if I don't meet them. 

I crossed the finish line and the clock said something under 37 minutes, but I didn't pay close attention. I was still feeling a little defeated because, as I said last week, I was proud of the fact that when I ran with Mary I felt like I could have gone faster without her. I was thinking on Saturday that this obviously wasn't true and I just ran this 5k SLOWER than when I ran it with her. At some point it dawned on me that Mary and I didn't finish in 36:16 last week, we finished in 38 something...Drew and Robbie had finished in 36 something (and it wasn't 16). I felt significantly better. My official time was 36:40...and when I compared it to last week, it was almost 2 minutes faster...and only 5 seconds slower than Drew and Robbie's time last week. And I know this wasn't my best race by far. I struggled. I've been struggling a lot lately (go figure); so in the end I felt pretty good about this race. 

This race marked my 9th one of 2012. I have now decided that I am going to change my goal to completing 11 races in 2012 since 11 was actually the number of races I had completed in my life up to December 2011. Of course, there is a part of me that is now thinking if I do 11, I mind as well even it out to 12 races - one for each month of 2012. And besides, 12 races in 2012...kind of has a ring to it....no??