Time for some Inspiration

I can feel myself wanting to slip.

It's been 10 days since I really re-committed to this journey of actually getting myself to where I want to be. 9 out of those 10 days I have tracked my food, exercised and ended the days with at least a 1000 calorie deficit. Actually, my lowest calorie deficit was 1,280. The only day I did not track or exercise was Sunday. For all intents and purposes I have been rocking this!

But for some reason yesterday and today I am finding myself being tempted back to the dark side. I haven't succumbed to the temptation yet, but I don't like feeling it. I have felt the push in the past and I've succeeded in ignoring it too. But every time I have ever resisted the temptation, I eventually succumbed to it. The worst part is it's really stupid temptation too. I don't want a piece of chocolate because I have a sugar craving. Or, even a glass of wine because I just like wine. No. I want to not have to think about it. That is always what gets me.

Today I did not have a plan for lunch. No plan meant having to THINK about what I was going to eat. The wheels started turning and I started thinking about how I could fit something in my calorie range that I "really" wanted. Problem was that I couldn't really pinpoint what it was that I wanted. Normally when I had days like this I would just run to McDonald's to get lunch because I don't have to THINK about it. But how sad is it that McDonald's has become something that I just get any time I don't know what else I want.

Because apparently I ALWAYS want that. Sigh......

For today though I won the battle and made myself a salad with chicken, sunflower seeds, cheese and dressing. And you know what? It was yummy.

I can do this.

I went shopping today. I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. There are so many things out there that I think are cute. Then I put them on and they are no longer cute to me. Saves me money. But makes me sad as well. Love....Hate......

But I did something today when shopping that I don't usually do. I decided to go look at the bathing suits because I am going to need a new one this summer. It's been a few years since I've bought one because I've been waiting until I could buy a smaller size (I used to buy a new one every summer). I really wasn't going to buy one yet so that I could try to lose weight before I bought a new one (see?? That's why I haven't bought a new one in so long. It's the same thing every year). But, I saw one that I thought was super cute so I took it to the dressing room and tried it on. It doesn't quite fit....YET....but I bought it anyway. I mean, I could wear it now if I wanted to, but I would feel even more self conscious than I usually do in a bathing suit. I am hoping that 2 months from now I will have lost enough weight that it fits a little bit better. And then, maybe by the end of the summer it will start looking silly because it'll be too big!

So, I think I'll hang up that bathing suit where I can see it every day. It'll be a reminder of what I am working for. It's not a far off goal. 10-20 pounds and I'm guessing that bathing suit will look significantly better than it does now. It won't be easy, but I can lose 20lbs in 2 months.

My goal is NOT to be perfect. My goal is to do this without totally stressing about it. My goal is to eat healthy more often than I don't. My goal is to weigh less next week than I did last....to weigh less at the end of a month than I did at the beginning of it...and to weigh less this time next year than I do today....and to eventually do what I need to do to maintain the healthy weight that I AM at.

I CAN do this.

Week 1 Complete!

2 positive blog posts in a row?!?!

WHAAAATTTT????

So I started this Facebook challenge on March 21st. My kids started their spring break on March 21st. Normally this would not be a time I would choose to start actually trying to lose weight. Apparently I had reached my limit and knew that I had to get my butt back in gear because I REALLY am not OK with where I am at.

This is how my week went down.....

Monday
I started my day with an hour long jazzercise class. Yup. JAZZERCISE.

I had never done jazzercise before but my friend messaged me about going to a class with her because she teaches there twice a week. I thought, why not? In the hour long workout I burned 1,125 calories! At that point I was hooked. I tracked my food all day and ended the day at 1758 calories eaten. I had burned a total of 4,034 calories.

Tuesday
I usually have a workout class that I participate in on Tuesdays, but since it was spring break it was not happening today. The trainer had emailed a workout to do on our own. As soon as the kids and I got up this morning we did this 45 minute workout together. This workout burned 674 calories. The 2nd day of spring break and I still did not take the kids out to eat and continued to track my food. At the end of this day I had eaten 1,854 calories and had burned 3,133 calories.

Wednesday
Day 2 of jazzercise. Mary went to the class with me today and did a great job!

I felt like I worked even harder in this workout than on Monday. I think that was because I knew the moves a little better than the first time seeing them. The calorie burn for this workout was 1,186. The biggest win for me today was lunch. I took the kids to Chick Fil A. I had planned to get what I always get since I had burned over 1,000 calories I was fine spending 900 on lunch. However, when we got to Chick Fil A I opted for the cobb salad instead. I did this completely as my choice. I decided that was what I wanted. My lunch was 520 calories instead of 900. I felt so good about my choices that day!

At the end of the day I had eaten 1,531 calories and burned 3,665. 

Thursday

Today I decided to get on the treadmill for my workout. I really do want to get back to running and participating in races because I had so much fun with that in 2011/12. I did 45 minutes today and burned 791 calories. The win I had for today was that I took the kids to see a movie and although we did still get popcorn to share I counted it and moved on. There was no feeling guilty. There was a little bit of pep talking so that I didn't feel guilty, but ultimately I was 100% fine with my choices. I have been drinking a TON of water and I think I even upped it today to be sure to off-set the high sodium day with popcorn. I ended this day having eaten 1852 and burning 3067. 

Total Calories eaten each day

Friday

This day (and Saturday) are probably the days I am MOST proud of. Back in September when I started focusing on only losing 5lbs a month I basically stopped tracking on Fridays. I would eat and drink basically whatever I wanted and that would last through the weekend. Today I started my day with another treadmill run. This time I stayed on the treadmill for one hour and burned 1,053 calories. Today I was going out to lunch with my parents and I had decided on my lunch before we even got to the restaurant and stuck to it. I got the hot shot whiskey chicken at Applebee's. It's yummy and 660 calories. I was stuffed when I left there and didn't feel guilty about any of it! Then, after dinner I actually MEASURED out 10 oz of wine and had NO more than that! I ended my day having only eaten 1400 calories and burning 3386. 

Saturday

I started my day yet again on the treadmill! One hour on the treadmill and I covered more distance than the day before. I LOVE seeing this kind of progress. Again, I burned 1,116 calories during this run/walk. Then it was off to Robbie's soccer game and lunch after. Again, this would usually be a time that I would get whatever I wanted and not worry about it. In trying to change my mind I still got what I wanted, but I tracked it and made sure it fit within my calories. We ended up at Burger King because that's what Robbie wanted after playing soccer. Before we went I looked up the menu and nutritional information and decided on the bacon double cheeseburger and value size onion rings. My entire lunch was 540 calories. Pretty unheard of for me - especially with fast food. For dinner I made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans. I then measured out another 10oz of wine for the evening and stopped after that! I also did not snack with my wine at all. I ended this day having eaten 1588 and burned 3504.

NET calories eaten each day

In 6 days I succeeded in having more than 1,000 calorie deficit every day. The second chart shows my net calories for each day of the week. If you're not familiar with MFP; you have a calorie goal for the day. When you exercise they add those calories to your goal for the day. I try not to eat back ALL the calories I'm burning because I'm trying to increase my calorie deficit. 

Yesterday was Easter and day 7. I weighed in that morning and was down 5.2 lbs in this first week! I am totally ecstatic about that! I allowed myself to eat/drink what I wanted yesterday with NO GUILT! I was right back at it today with another hour on the treadmill and tracking all my food. I am still feeling really positive about this. Let's hope this continues! 

Spring Biggest Loser Challenge

Hello again :)

What can I say? I last left you in JANUARY with a great post about how I was getting back on track and was going to get serious about getting healthy before my 40th birthday. Well, the good news is that between then and now I had some good days and some bad days and have basically maintained my weight.

But, when you have 80+lbs to lose, maintaining is NOT what you want!

I definitely try to remind myself that maintaining is better than gaining any day!

I've been trying to find my motivation again. It comes and goes and I wish I could figure out the trick to having it STAY long enough so that these habits become second nature. At the beginning of March I decided that I would get back on track and get focused. That lasted a few days and I fell off the wagon again. Sigh.....

Last week I was talking to my friend and she was talking about how she was going to start the 21 Day Fix and had joined this Facebook biggest loser challenge group. I told her the reasons I don't want to do the 21 day fix and left it at that. I then got on pinterest and starting looking into that AGAIN.

I called my friend back and said that I was thinking of trying the 21 day fix. She asked if I wanted to be added to that group and I said sure! Our challenge started on Monday. I am not doing the 21 day fix because I really do prefer to count calories (crazy, right??!). The fact of the matter is that for me the thing I loathe about counting anything (calories, points, etc) is that I have to take the time to measure things out. 21 day fix you don't have to count anything necessarily, but you have to measure everything. To me that just makes the counting part easy!

I am following a lot of the guidelines of the 21 day fix, which is basically eating "clean". I'm trying to focus on real, whole foods for the majority of what I eat, but not the only things I eat. I truly want to figure out how to LIVE a healthy life and I don't believe that completely cutting things out will work for me. Learning how to actually eat in moderation (by counting my calories and knowing I'm within a reasonable calorie range so I can eat that ice cream or have that wine, etc) is more likely to help me learn how to live a healthy lifestyle.

So the good news is that once again I've found my drive. Today is day 3 and I'm going strong. I often have an easy time with days 1-3 and then things start to get a little dicey. I am hoping being a part of this challenge will help me stay on track or get right back on track if I fall off. For instance, I am not going to worry about tracking on Sunday for Easter. But Monday will be right back on track.

I have about 80lbs that I would like to lose and I would like to do that by my 40th birthday. Yes, that is a LOT in one year. However, if you break it down to 52 weeks it amounts to about 1.5 pounds per week. That is definitely doable;  but I have to STICK with it. I don't have the time to take 2, 3, 4 weeks off.

With that being said; if I lose 50lbs or 60lbs or 70lbs by my 40th birthday that is awesome as well. As long as I am still working at it and consistently losing - even if it's only .5lb or 1lb a week I'll take it. The key is I need to find a way to lose this weight, learn how to live healthy, and NOT drive myself crazy. I really think that what I decided on in September was working; focusing on big calorie deficits during the week and then not stressing about it over the weekends. I was still losing more than 1lb a week doing this and I was probably only counting for 4 days out of a week instead of 5. Between Sept and Nov when I was consistently doing that I lost 15lbs. It adds up. And yes, I'm aware that if I'm "only" losing 5lbs a month I'll "only" lose 60lbs in 12 months. But entering my 40th year having to lose just 20lbs will still put me in a better place than I've been in probably 15 years.

If I can consistently have big calorie deficits for 5-6 days a week and not go totally overboard the other days I am sure I can be successful...and without driving myself (and everyone around me) crazy.

So we'll see. I make these posts a lot and I realize that. But when I come here to blog about it it means that I'm feeling pretty good and I'm hoping it'll stick this time. Only time will tell, right?? Wouldn't it be GREAT if I were writing a post a year from now about how awesome I've been doing and how much weight I've lost!?!? :)