2 Weeks To Go

That's it. There's less than 2 weeks left in 2018.

It's no surprise that this time of the year tends to be a challenge for most people. Most people struggle this time of the year because there are social gatherings, work parties, family get togethers, etc. I honestly don't really have any of those excuses. I haven't gone to one holiday party this year and don't have any planned. The only family get togethers we have will be on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. So really, I have no reason to treat this time of year any differently than any other time of the year. But I do.

Maybe it's because I do partake in the baking aspect of the holiday season. Every year I make chocolates as gifts for various people. I also make my Christmas cookies that I only make once a year and those inevitably call my name constantly! 😄

But really there's no reason why I couldn't get through this time of year still losing weight. But I'm not. I decided this week though that I'm not going to be mad about it.

Christmas Day 2017 vs. Dec 5, 2018

Yesterday while working out I found myself being annoyed once again because the HR monitor on my Garmin was not accurately reflecting my effort. That sounds so petty,  but when I can barely breathe and I look down and my HR monitor says my heart rate is 90; I don't think it's accurate. When my HR monitor isn't accurate then the calories burned isn't accurate. I find that this makes me way more mad than it should. It's not like I'm not burning the calories just because my Garmin doesn't show it.

So yesterday I decided I was getting way too neurotic and that needs to stop. When I get this neurotic I find that I go in the opposite direction. I've talked about this before on this blog,  but when I'm stressing about losing weight I will gain weight faster than ever.

I've been doing so well even though I haven't lost any weight since May. My weight has stayed relatively steady since I hit that low weight in May. But now I see my weight creeping up again and it's making me stress. It's really stupid to stress about it. I know that I'm not really going to do anything about it until January so what's the point in stressing?

So yesterday I came up with some goals for myself for the next 2 weeks:

An important reminder....

1. I took off my Garmin! This is actually such a big deal. You know I'm all about my numbers. I mean, this Garmin was my gift to myself for reaching ONEderland. But I decided yesterday that my goal for the next 2 weeks is to exercise just to exercise. The calories will be burned whether I can look at the numbers or not.

2. Stop stressing over my food and just eat mindfully.

3. Reflect on the awesome year that was 2018 and think about how great 2019 will be.

4. Realize that the world will NOT end if the scale goes above 200 for a second in January. I obviously don't want it to, but really what does it matter? I'm not done with my journey. I'm not giving up or quitting. If the scale goes above 200 again I am no longer afraid that that means it's going to keep going in that direction. I am confident that I will be able to get re-focused after the New Year.

I know that I've talked about the fact that in years past I have had a hard time getting back on track until April. I'm no longer nervous that that'll happen again. This year I actually got started on January 1st (which I NEVER do). In the month of January I lost over 11 pounds. By the end of April this year I had lost 29 pounds or over 13% body weight. I see no reason why I can't do the same in 2019.

I am pretty positive Living Lean will have another challenge at the start of the year so that will absolutely help me get my butt back in gear. Therefore, I am no longer going to spend these next 13 days stressing. I am going to enjoy every moment of what's left in 2018 and look forward to what 2019 has in store!

NSV - Non-Scale Victories

Let's talk about some NSV's shall we?

I feel like I've probably done a post about this in the past, but I think it's time to revisit the topic.

The scale is such a fickle thing. Sometimes it's great and shows you just what you want to see or reflects your efforts. Then there are those times when it absolutely drives you crazy.

Whether you are loving on the scale or not, it's always fun to look at the little victories that have absolutely nothing to do with what that nasty ole scale says.

I've obviously experienced a lot of NSV's since losing 55+ pounds from my absolute highest weight in 2014.

8/2010 vs. 11/2018

- I've gone down several sizes in clothes.
- My wedding ring is so loose that I can't even shower with it on anymore because I'm afraid it'll fall off and end up in the drain (yet I refuse to get it sized yet because I still have 40+ pounds I want/need to lose).
- I can wear my birthstone ring that my parents bought me for my 16th birthday - I haven't been able to wear that ring in probably 10 years.
- I could ride any and every ride I wanted to at Cedar Point this year with no worries about whether or not I'd fit.
- My knee high black boots that I had to buy in a wide so they would zip up my legs, now have a gap on my calf.
- I actually don't mind looking at pictures of myself (and sometimes even enjoy it)!

The scale has not been reflecting the same victories lately and you know what? I'm totally OK with that. I haven't been consistently doing what I need to do to see that scale reflect my efforts. Well, actually, the scale is reflecting my efforts. My efforts aren't reflecting my goals.

Here's another NSV though....last year I did a very similar thing; I consistently lost weight until May and then starting eating/drinking too much so I maintained my weight within 5 pounds between May and November until gaining another 7 pounds back in the month of December. In 2017 my highest weight loss in one month was 9.2 pounds. In 2018 I had 2 months that were higher than that. The lowest weight gain in one month in 2017 was 2 pounds; this year 2.2 pounds was the MOST I gained back in any given month (and 2 of the months that I "gained" were 2 tenths of a pound). If this is all about my weight how is it a NON-scale victory?? Well, the non scale part of it is that my behaviors have changed enough to make these changes happen.

There have been 2 more NSV's lately that got me thinking about this today.

1) In the last week I have had several people comment on my weight loss. The scale is actually UP 2 pounds from my lowest weight in MAY;  but people are noticing a difference now (and I actually think there is one).

Proof of that change - this is 9/29/18 to 12/5/18 - weight difference on the scale = maybe 5lbs

2) Probably one of my biggest NSV's yet happened last night. I went to the Cavs game and they were doing a t-shirt giveaway. I can remember plenty of times when I would worry whether or not the XL shirt that you get for free would fit. Last night I actually took the XL shirt they leave on your seat and exchanged it for a SMALLER SIZE!!! I was wearing a size large shirt last night and was still so nervous to make the switch. I doubted that it would fit and when I tried it on this morning to be sure I was so incredibly happy. Not to mention the fact that I love that they even have the option of changing the sizes. It also meant that my kids could exchange their XL shirts that wouldn't come close to fitting them for the medium shirts that will fit them much better for the next several years.

So I may be a little frustrated with myself lately because I can't seem to get my mind back to doing what I need to do to actively lose; but I'm still doing something. As of this morning I am less than 3 pounds from my lowest weight in May and I even hit a lower weight one day in November that put me in a new decade (but I'm not really counting that as my lowest weight because it was a day I got on the scale WAY later than normal and it's a number I literally saw once and haven't even been within 2 pounds since that one day).

I am trying really hard to be able to put a minus before the number I add to that calendar for December. Even if it is -.2 for the month I will be ecstatic. In 2017 my December number was +7, which equated to gaining back pretty much half of what I had lost in 2017 (since prior to December I was already up something like 6 pounds from my lowest weight that year). That will NOT happen this year regardless of how the next 2.5 weeks go (OMG, do we really only have 2.5 weeks of 2018 left?!?!). These are probably THE most challenging 2.5 weeks of the year,  but I can DO this! Including today there are 19 days remaining in 2018. There is frankly NO reason for me to have more than 3 "free" days in those 19. Let's end 2018 with a bang and have this officially be the year I lost the most weight!