Cedar Point 2017

Does anybody remember this post from back in 2014 when I took the kids to their first trip to Cedar Point?? No? Well, you should go back and read it and then come back and read this one. Trust me. It'll be fun!

You back? Good. At the end of that post I talked about wanting to be down 50-60 pounds by the time I went again in 2015. Yea, if you notice I never blogged about Cedar Point in 2015. The reason for that is I was EVEN BIGGER and because of that had significantly less fun because I didn't even attempt certain rides due to my size.

We decided to go back this year and I was feeling very nervous and uncertain about it from the moment we decided to go. My recent memories are the ones from '14 and '15 when I couldn't fit into rides. I looked up my weights from those 2 years and compared my current weight. I was hopeful that the 20-30 (depending on if you're looking at my 2014 or '15 weight) pounds I had lost would help me to fit into more seats comfortably.

 We arrived at the park around 9:30 and actually had to wait for them to officially open the park. As soon as they let us into the park we headed straight for the newest ride....Valravn. We ended up only having to wait about 30 minutes for this ride and it was AWESOME! The absolute best part was when I sat down in the seat and reached up for the shoulder harness, I had no issue securing the harness myself!! I can't stress how awesome this made me feel. There was NO question about whether or not I fit into this ride. And that's a good thing because it's a pretty scary ride and I wouldn't have wanted to feel like I was going to fall out.

The day was amazing. It was hotter than blazes, but that didn't stop us. We spent more than 12 hours at the park and rarely stopped to rest. We rode everything we wanted to and some things we rode multiple times (like at the end of the day when Robbie kept running back onto Gatekeeper because it was quite literally a walk on)!

In 2014 I talked about the lessons I learned from my trip to Cedar Point. The one lesson that I learned this year was that it makes such a huge difference to not weigh as much as I did in 2014 (or 15). My anxiety was almost non existent. I still get a little nervous for my kids, but I don't think that'll ever go away. I had so much fun I'm contemplating taking the kids back this year (that likely won't happen though). And, it got me even more excited to continue this journey and hopefully be even smaller next year when we go. This happening during the week that I've been working on my jumpstart was perfect timing!

On Thursday when we went to CP I did not worry about my calories or about what I ate. I ate a lot, but burned even more so I wasn't worried about it. The biggest challenge was coming home and immediately getting back on track. Friday night I had a birthday party to go to for my sister in law and I was a little nervous about that coming right after a "free" day at CP. I am happy to say that, although I didn't stay at 1200 calories, I rocked it! I did not have any alcohol OR cake and tracked what I did eat. I ended the day just around 1500 calories and again, burned more than that so I'll take it! And, because I felt good about what I accomplished yesterday (and this whole week so far) I didn't even get (too) mad when the scale jumped up this morning. I got completely on track today with my 1200 calorie goal. It looks like my final calorie count today is going to be right around 1220!

This jumpstart has made such a difference in my head that it doesn't even matter what the scale says on Monday. I mean, obviously it will matter to me but I don't feel like it will derail my current effort. Monday through Wednesday were SO strong and I was already feeling really good prior to Thursday. Going to CP and not feeling nervous about fitting in the rides felt SO good that I didn't (and don't) want that to end!

I will leave you with this comparison picture (because you know I LOVE them). I am wearing the same shirt in both these pics. The one on the left was from July last year and the one on the right was Thursday at CP. I am wearing the same tank top in both pics. If you recall, I used the pic on the left for a comparison pic last summer in this post.

There's only about a 7 pound difference in these photos but I see so much more. Look at the smile on my face. I'm wearing sunglasses in the one from this year, but I don't need to see my eyes to see how much happier I am. I am not giving up this fight. I will have setbacks along the way. I will even gain back some of the weight I lost (only to have to lose it again); but I will DO this. One way or another I WILL lose this weight. I only hope that next year I can post another comparison picture and continue to see a difference.

Jumpstart

My last several blog posts have talked about how I am struggling with staying on track. I thought after my post on July 4th I was on my way back on track. I wasn't. I started trying to track consistently again with my only goal being to stay in the green on MyFitnessPal. I set my calorie goal pretty high so staying in the green really shouldn't have been that difficult (especially when adding my exercise calories back). July 4th and 5th I was in the red. The 6th I actually stayed in the green, but then the 7th-9th I didn't even track.

I tried getting back on track again on Monday (the 10th) and I did pretty well. I strung 3 days together in the green! I can't even tell you what exactly happened after that. I tracked everything I ate Thursday, but went 683 calories OVER my already pretty high calorie budget. I derailed for the weekend again. And now here we are.

I decided that what I really needed to do is just have one week where I REALLY restrict my calories as a way to kind of jumpstart my weight loss again. Last year when I tried Nutrisystem I lost almost 8lbs in the first week because it was incredibly low calories that week. I was not even hitting 1200 calories most days! There is NO WAY I can (nor should I) maintain that amount of calorie deficit for an extended period of time; but one week isn't going to kill me.

Breakfast = 215 calories

I decided that starting today my goal will be to eat as close to 1200 calories as possible for the next week. There is one day this week that I am not going to track or worry about my calories. We are taking the kids to Cedar Point on Thursday so that will be my "free" day. I will try to stay as close to 1200 calories as possible for the 6 other days of the week. I am hopeful that this will help to drop the weight that I re-gained since losing my focus in May. I won't drop all the weight I've re-gained in one week, but hopefully a big chunk of it can come off with one successful week.

Lunch = 450 calories and SO yummy! 

More importantly, I hope that one successful week can turn into 2 successful weeks and that can turn into several successful weeks! I KNOW that this isn't that hard. It isn't as hard as I make it and it's all about how I approach it in my head. The food I'm eating right now is GOOD. I refuse to eat things I don't like just because they are "good for you". That means that even when I'm restricting my calories, I am still eating yummy food. It's also not like I can never have unhealthy food again. I need to find that balance of eating in a way that I can continue to lose weight and stay happy in the process.

Dinner = 393 calories. 

Day 1 of "jumpstart" has been a success SO FAR. I now have to survive the hardest time of the day - between dinner and bed. I currently sit at 1058 calories on the day. I have had 64 oz of water so far and just filled up my 32 oz water bottle for the 3rd time. I did not have any activity on the calendar today so I decided to take the kids to do some geocaching this afternoon just to make sure I got some steps in. I feel good. It's one day closer to reaching my goal. It's one day closer to regaining my focus.

Happy 4th of July!!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful 4th of July and summer.

I have spent some time recently going through old blog posts and it has been quite interesting. I honestly LOVE having this blog for that reason. When I am struggling like I have been it is so helpful to re-read through all my positive and negative posts. These struggles are nothing new and at some point it might just get through my head that it's easier to stay on program than it is to keep falling off and getting back on.

I find it interesting that back in April I was talking about how counting calories was getting annoying and I was thinking of joining WW again since fruits and veggies are "free". I thought perhaps this would motivate me to make healthier choices. I never did join WW because, like I said in that post, I don't really understand why I can't just make better choices without having to pay for a different way to track my food.

One thing I was reminded of was that in April when I tracked my food every day I lost 6lbs even though my calories average over 2100/day. Even with that happening I continued to get hung up on how many calories I was eating in May. I continue to be so hard on myself and when I struggle to eat less calories (like try to average 1500 or 1800), I feel like a failure and then EAT. None of this makes sense.

This post from May 1st talked all about how I should start getting better at trusting the process because of the outcome of my efforts between April and May. I don't necessarily think it's about trusting the process right now though. It's just about continuing to do it when I don't want to. It is truly not that hard; yet if it were that easy everyone would be at a healthy weight, right??

I weighed myself Monday and the total damage has been 5.2 pounds gained back. It was June 15th when I posted about having gained back 2 pounds and how that could easily turn into 5, 10, etc. Well, there you go. It turned into 5+ pounds and it's time to stop the scale from going any more in that direction. I was trying, once again, to decide what "program" to follow in order to get me back on track. I realized, with the help of my own blog, that I KNOW what is healthy and what is not. I also know what it takes to lose weight and know why I stop losing. I don't need any special "program", I just need to eat less than I burn and in order to know if I'm doing that I need to track my food and exercise. I tracked all my food yesterday and kept my calories in the green. One day/one step back in the right direction. I have tracked all my food so far today and even tracked what I'm planning to eat for dinner. I have plenty of calories left to eat something after dinner if I want since I ran 5 miles today and burned lots of calories.

That's it. I need to KEEP IT SIMPLE. Track my food. Exercise. Try my best to stay in the green on MyFitnessPal, but don't beat myself up when I slip into the red. Make the next day a fresh day and try again. My next infusion is July 14th and we'll see what that scale says in comparison to my last infusion 8 weeks ago. Every time I have stepped on a doctor's scale since January I have lost weight. If I can keep this trend going (even by 1lb) I will consider that a huge success! If I'm up from my last appointment that will stink, but it'll be what it is and I'll make sure it's down the next time (which will be in August for my annual physical).

Until next time.....