#noexcuses Week 5

More than halfway through the first 8 weeks of this challenge. If it were last year I'd be in the home stretch. I am so glad the challenge this year is 16 weeks. I feel like I am on such a roll right now that I just want it to keep going. I know that just because the challenge ends doesn't mean I have to stop; but I also know that when the challenge ends I'll be more likely to take a break.

Week 5 has been kind of amazing! I didn't drop a ton of weight this week or anything, but the changes happening in my head are what made this past week so great.

I really think the epiphany that I had a couple weeks ago regarding why I have been so obsessed with the scale has continued to truly help me in my journey. I got back on the scale this week but I truly did not let it dictate anything. I actually found it slightly amusing when it kept creeping up by 2 tenths of a pound every day even though my food was on point. I also figured that it probably meant that I'd have a big drop at some point so that kept me motivated to just keep going. I was right and by my official weigh in on Saturday I was down 1.6 from the week before to put me at a total of 11 pounds in 5 weeks. That puts me 3.4 pounds away from the goal I wanted to hit at the 8 week mark. I have 3 weeks to lose that 3.4 pounds and I am confident it will happen.

So the other thing I thought a lot about this week was the time it takes to lose weight. I've mentioned this before, but I have actually, really, changed my thinking to believe that it truly doesn't matter how long it takes me to lose this weight. In some weird way though, I also am finding myself believing that I will hit my weight loss goal this year. It's kind of a weird transition that's happening in my head because even though I'm starting to believe I could weigh 150 pounds by the end of this year; I also don't really care whether I do or I don't. And therein lies the huge mental shift that I think is helping me more than anything. I think I am finally able to make this mental shift because I am actually starting to believe that I will get to where I want to be eventually. And eventually is better than never.

A better outfit, a better angle and pose, but still a big
difference in 11 months (3-18-18 to 2-17-18).
FYI - there's only a 15 pound difference in these pics. 

I realized this week that when you go through a weight loss journey with the attitude that it's never fast enough you are bound to fail. Harsh? Maybe, but true. I've spent many years wishing that it would come off faster and then I would inevitably stop and gain back everything I had lost plus some more. And of course this makes sense. If you're trying to lose weight and constantly feeling that what you're doing is not good enough why would you keep doing it? I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it, but I'm so glad that I have finally been able to see this.

That's not to say I'm going to be "perfect" now because I've finally seen the light! No, it just means that I feel like I'm going to take some of the pressure off and just do what I know to do and move on. I still gained weight between November and January, but I gained significantly less than I have in years past. I think this is a step in the right direction.

With all these realizations continuing this week, I decided to change my plan ever so slightly. It's not really too much of a change of what I'm doing so much as how I'm thinking. I ended my WW subscription again. I double track anyway and I more often use MFP (My Fitness Pal) to ultimately decide what to eat in terms of calories rather than points. If I had a day where I was already at 23 points, but had only eaten 1200 calories I wouldn't mind eating more points since I clearly could have more calories. Anyway, if I'm going to rely more heavily on MFP anyway than why pay for WW and have to deal with double tracking? So here's my new plan: track my food on MFP and focus on my calorie deficit each day. The goal will be to have at least a 500 calorie deficit most days. There will be days when I have much more than that and probably days where I won't have a deficit at all; and that'll be OK. If I can average a 500 calorie deficit every day of the week I should average about a pound a week loss.  Last week I averaged a 900 calorie deficit for 6/7 days (if you recall I gave myself last Saturday as a splurge day so I didn't track) and I lost 1.6 pounds. I realize it won't always work that way and that's OK. If I focus on having a calorie deficit most days than my weight will continue to go down.

On to week 6!