Monday, May 14, 2018

Monday Confessional

Day 43 of 55

Welp, this week did not quite go as planned.

I ended up eating and drinking too much both Saturday and Sunday. When I got on the scale this morning it was up again from last week, but I'm still not worried about it. Last Friday the scale was the lowest number I've seen yet. I can't even express to you how bloated I have been feeling lately. It's actually really weird to me. I don't remember getting quite this bloated in the past. I think it's probably because I eat pretty well most of the time and when I don't eat well my body doesn't know how to adjust to that. I mean, the bloat was so uncomfortable last night it woke me up in the middle of the night!

I knew the scale would be up this morning but I will say I was a little surprised to see how much it went up. Again, I'm not worried about it and I'm not stressing about it. I had made the conscious decision this weekend to eat and drink and not have any guilt over it. I may have the negative demon whispering in my ear that this must mean I haven't really changed and that the scale will just keep going in the wrong direction; but I'm not listening. I am changing this time and those changes aren't going to happen all at once or without work. They are going to happen when I fight the demon in my head that tries to tell me that I can't or won't.

The changes will happen when after taking 2 days to indulge I get right back on track the next day. I had decided that I need another little "jumpstart" week like I did back in July of last year. My goal this week will be to try to stay around 1200 calories most days. I should be able to drop the weight I've "gained" over the last 2 weeks (perhaps plus a little more) if I can stay around 1200 calories this week. I will be focusing on using lots of 0 point foods, but I will also track my food in MyFitnessPal to keep accountable with how many calories I'm eating of 0 point foods.

What's funny is how it really all depends on when your official weigh in day is. I mean, I choose to make my official weigh in on Monday mornings. I noticed today that if I would have used Friday as my weigh in day I would be consistently losing every week since back in March! Hmmmm....makes me think maybe I should change my official weigh in day to Fridays! But, more importantly, it shows me that it doesn't really matter. My weight will fluctuate. When weighing myself every day I find it easier to not focus so much on that number - even on my official weigh in day. I can tell you that if I wouldn't have gotten on the scale all week and saw another 1.6 lb gain after gaining 1.4 last week I probably would have lost it. But, since I weigh myself every day and I'm learning how my body responds to things I absolutely expected a gain today. Perhaps not as high as it was, but I didn't let that derail me.

The good is that last week I still had 4 blue dot days and was completely on plan until Saturday. That's another reason why I know the gain isn't really "true" today. Given how many weekly points I had left after Friday (like 27) and how many FitPoints I earn (95 that I could have swapped), I don't even think I went over my points this week. I think if I would have tracked what I ate Saturday and Sunday I would still have some points left; but 2 high calorie days are going to show on the scale regardless.

So that's it. The goal this week is to keep my calories low and to get back to being focused on the task at hand! I ended today right around 1202 calories. A good start. 12 more days until vacation. Regardless of what has happened I know I will be at my goal weight of 195 lbs for this vacation. I am still pretty confident that I'll be under that.


No comments:

Post a Comment