You know from my recent posts that things are going pretty well. I'm back to running. It's slow, but I'm out there doing it. I've worked up to 9.5 miles, which I did last Friday. 9.5 miles is certainly nothing to sneeze at. AND, those 9.5 miles were covered at a faster pace than the 8 miles 2 weeks prior. So not only am I increasing mileage, but I'm increasing my speed as well.
Sidenote: I feel really funny still using the word "speed" or saying "faster" because my pace is so slow; but I did increase my speed and I did go faster Friday than 2 Fridays before so it's an accurate statement. LOL
Here's where the frustration comes into play. I have Crohn's Disease. This is not new information. I've discussed this nasty disease on my blog several other times. In April 2015 I started on yet another new medication. We are about to hit the 2 year mark of this medication. This is the longest a medication has worked for me since starting my flare back in 2012. (Prior to that, the meds I was on from 2008 worked great). This medication has brought me back to 100% and has been a literal life-saver (or at least colon-saver!). I decided it was really time to ramp up my weight loss efforts and start training again since I had been pretty well in "remission" for the past year.
I am obviously very sensitive to cues my body gives me. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the fact that I have Crohn's Disease. I have been feeling really good in that regard, but I still think about it on a daily basis. Having said that, whenever I feel the slightest stomachache I worry about what that might mean. In the last 2 weeks I've probably had 3 days where my stomach has felt off. It doesn't seem like a lot, and for me (when I'm flaring) it's NOTHING. And, it's not even like my stomach hurt the entire days those days either. I shouldn't be worried, but that's what I do.
I get pissed even thinking about the fact that I could possibly be doing harm to myself by trying to lose weight and workout. I mean WTF?!?! WHAT am I supposed to do? Being fat and unfit is bad for everyone; but trying to get thinner and fitter is bad for ME!?!?! I sure as hell hope not. But sometimes it feels that way since as soon as I start to get myself back on track I tend to start getting stomach pains. Back in January I had a week where I worked out 8 times in 5 days. That Friday night I felt like absolute crap. I decided at that moment I would not be doing 2-a-day workouts anymore. Losing weight is important, but not important enough to send myself into a flare.
I had my last infusion on 1/30/17 and things were just fine. I had my infusion today so I'm going to be paying close attention to how my body continues to react to things. My stomach wasn't too happy with me for doing 9.5 miles Friday, but then I was completely fine the rest of the weekend (and, it was completely fine for the duration of the run. It only became angry when I went through the bulk of the rest of the day before I replenished the calories I had burned. It stopped hurting once I actually ate a good amount of calories). It's so hard to know what is "normal". Lots of people get gastro distress after (or during) running long distances. Maybe that is all that was on Friday. But, I can't mess around with it. I have to pay attention and be extra vigilant about what my body might be telling me.
So listen up Crohn's Disease; I don't have time for your shit. I have BIG goals this year and I am determined to meet them! I AM stronger than you and I WILL beat you!
But, let's end things on a lighter note. I had a goal I wanted to meet for this infusion today. If you recall; I was going to wait until today to weigh in. We also know that I didn't meet that particular goal. BUT, my other goal was to lose between 8-16 pounds since my last infusion (averaging 1-2lbs/week lost). I am happy to report that my weight loss on the scale today was 10 pounds (an average of 1.25 lbs/week)! Given how many times I let myself have a little too much freedom during these last 8 weeks, I'll take 10 pounds and run with it! Also, when I think back to my goals in the fall of 2015 I was trying to lose 5 pounds a month and was successful with that for 3 months (until the holiday's hit). If I can continue to lose 5 pounds a month I will be down another 45 pounds by the end of this year, and closer to my goal weight than I've been since right after Mary was born.....and, yea, she just turned 13!
My goal for my next infusion will be the same - be down another 8-10 pounds. Obviously anything over 10 would be phenomenal, but I will be happy with 8 - that equates to a 1lb/week loss and frankly anything less than today's weight is still moving in the right direction.
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