EXCUSES!

Hi there....if anyone is out there. Perhaps this time I hope no one is listening.

I haven't posted for a while because I've been running many ideas through my head (that's about the only running that's been happening)! I've toyed with different ideas for post titles.

DNS (Did Not Start)
Excuses (that one obviously won)
Time to confess

So, my post at the end of May talked about how June 1st was going to be a "fresh start". How I was going to get back on track with my healthy eating and be more consistent with my workouts. Well, the bad news is that I continue to struggle. I Did Not Start and am finding it so easy to make excuses.

Excuses are so easy to make. It will ALWAYS be easy to find a reason NOT to workout...or to not care about what I put into my body. If it were easy to keep a healthy lifestyle no one would be fat. There would be no obesity epidemic. So, it's not easy...OK....get over it. Humph...I can't get over it! But, I NEED to get over it. Suck it up and deal with the fact that life isn't fair. Sure, there are some people who can eat whatever they want and barely exercise and be thin. But, I'm not one of them. (and frankly I think there aren't as many of those people out there as it seems). So I need to work at it and I need to get over the fact that it's not easy. Finishing a (4!) half marathons isn't easy either, but I DID that.....and for each and every one of those half marathons I was at LEAST 40lbs over weight. IMAGINE what I might be able to accomplish with some more weight loss!

I have been trying to do some soul searching this past week. I wonder if one reason I keep falling short with the weight loss is because it gives me a built in EXCUSE. See, look at that...going back to today's theme. See, where I stand now I can always find a reason for why it was OK that I "failed". Or, to be fair, reasons why I didn't do as well as I hoped or wanted. It's always easy to have to remind myself that I'm doing more with my 200+lb body than most people do with their MUCH smaller bodies! When I lose weight, what will be my reason for still not being "good enough"?!?! I seriously have a "good enough" complex. I worked hard to lose 40lbs, but still had 40 to go so it wasn't good enough. But, because it wasn't good enough, guess what?? I've now gained back 12 of those 40 lbs. My running was drastically improving. I went from a 3:20 half marathon to a 2:56 half marathon to a 2:41 half marathon....but I really wanted 2:30. So, it wasn't good enough. But, guess what?!? My 4th half marathon went back to 3:14. Now, granted, it was freaking hot and I wasn't used to running in that heat, but going into the day I had already decided that I likely wasn't going to meet my goal so the only goal was really to just cross the finish line. For some people the thought of not good enough would probably make them work harder. For me....it shuts me down. I need to figure out a way to embrace ME. To be happy with what I have accomplished, but to know there are always new goals out there to accomplish. It is all GOOD ENOUGH. And it is always OK to strive for more even when what you are doing is good enough.

Just keep going. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep re-starting as many times as it takes to stick. And figure out how to realize that it is all good enough! No more excuses!!