New Year...New Me....

Cheesy, right?!?! Overdone? Probably. Already somewhat true? Yup!

So, I last left you WAY back in August 2014 with this awesome post about how I was a total mess. If we compare where I am now to where I was then, we can already say that it's a new me. I would say I'm only about half the mess I was back in August.

Some things have changed to help this and I have been working hard to change some other things as well.

One change was finding Jamberry and starting my own business (again). This has definitely helped my level of happiness. That's a pic of me holding my daughters hand. Awwww...

I had mentioned in that last post that I was going to a new doctor for my check up in September. Well, I did and she did put me back on some depression meds. I think that this is definitely a change that has the biggest effect on my current outlook. Duh, right?!?! No one likes having to admit they need medication to function, but it is what it is and now I am feeling better.

In the fitness/weight loss department......well....I'm still kind of a mess there. You didn't expect me to totally transform myself since last August did you? BUT, I feel as though the other stuff is falling in to place which will be what ultimately helps me reach my other goals in life.

Let me take a minute here and review the hopes and dreams I had for 2014. I "only" picked 3 goals to focus on and even that deemed to be too difficult. Goal 1 - figure out how to stay accountable without being so hard on myself. Goal 2 - lose 50lbs. Goal 3 - exercise at least 3 days per week.

I don't feel as though I achieved any of these goals. BUT, I am OK with that and am moving on. There's nothing I can do about it now. The good news is that I did lose some weight. It may have only been 3 pounds, but the fact is that I weighed less on 1/1/15 than I did on 1/1/14 - that hasn't happened in a few years. And, I may not have figured out how to stay accountable without being so hard on myself; but that is one area I feel like I am finally figuring out how to fix (perhaps the meds are giving some clarity). I am already getting better at letting things go that are out of my control! WHAAAT?!?!? Many of you have no idea how exactly huge that is. And I can FEEL it happening. I take notice when it does happen and it still surprises me. I hope it continues and increases.

I have finally realized that my main focus really needs to be on my mind. I think I've always known this, but I hadn't ever done anything about it. And this is why I say I think the meds have really been the changing point in all of this. I am making actual changes to work on feeling better about myself in the here and now. I am realizing that the reason I have yet to be successful with my weight loss is because I don't feel worthy (still not sure why though). I realize that I am putting all my worth into my weight. So, I have started making changes to feel better about myself on a daily basis. I made a big change to my hair, have started wearing a little make-up at times and even bought some clothes that fit better (I still need some more, but that's the HARDEST thing because I really don't think I look good in anything. Obviously this is a work in progress. I have not liked myself for several years now so I can't expect to learn how to love myself overnight).

I still hate taking selfies....

The new hair has helped in a ridiculous way. I LOVE my new hair and can look in the mirror and think I look good. That's a huge improvement.

Shall we discuss some goals and aspirations for 2015? Sure, why not!

1) Continue on this path to start loving myself NOW and not waiting until I lose the weight.
2) Participate in the 100 day challenge with my family (get in a minimum of 100 days of activity during the entire year).
3) Track my calories and stay as close to 1500 calories as possible for at least 6 days out of each week.
4) Get back into running and HOPEFULLY complete a race longer than a 5k.

Other Goals:
5) Continue to work and build my Jamberry business (http://kimhatcher.jamberrynails.net) so that I can continue to stay home.
6) Get out of debt - and not just move things around to 0% credit cards so we don't have to worry about paying it off until XX date!
7) Take the family back to Disney (see goal #5!)

I want to go back! It truly has been a magical place for us. This was Nov. 2012 on our last day. 

Those are the biggies and I think I'll leave it at that.

So I'm back. I'm going to blog again. I love being able to look back on my life. I can't tell you how many times I've gone back and read posts from 2011 and 2012 with all my running and triathlon stuff. I realize how happy I was when I was doing that. I want and need to get back there. There's no reason I can't.

So Happy New Year peeps! Let's make this the best one yet!