#noexcuses Week #14

14 weeks.

14 weeks of being ultra focused on my weight loss journey.

14 weeks of NO alcohol. Not a single drop of wine (or anything else).

14 weeks of tracking almost every day (there were 6 days that I did not track my food. And those days were planned splurge days).

14 weeks of working out 5-6 days per week (mostly 6).

14 weeks. 23.4 pounds lost. 2 weeks and 4 pounds to go to hit my personal goal.

I want to say this was a good week simply because the scale was amazing this morning; but I would be lying. This week continued to suck like the last few weeks. It's getting old and I'm hoping that I'll snap out of it soon. I actually think I am snapping out of it so that's good.

I continued to struggle mentally this week, but the amazing thing is that it didn't derail me. On Tuesday I found myself having yet another snack attack; but I reigned it in and decided at 3:30 to be done eating for the day. My calories were a little over 1500 so I knew it'd still be a good day (calorie deficit wise) if I could just stop eating. So I did. And amazingly enough I still didn't even go to bed hungry. This week was also busy which helped because I didn't have quite as much time to think about eating.

I am finding a balance currently that is pretty amazing. I lost 3 pounds this week and had real ice cream twice. On Saturday Mary wanted to get ice cream after the volleyball team that she coaches won. I agreed and even though I knew I wanted to keep my calories low that day I decided I could get a kids size cone and be happy. It would give me the taste without needing to get a huge sundae or anything. On Thursday my parents came up to watch Robbie's track meet, so naturally we went to get ice cream after. I was toying with not getting any that day, but again, I decided a kids cone would give me the taste that I wanted and wouldn't break my calorie bank.

The best part about all of this is it's truly what I want. I mean, sure, it'd be nice to eat the big sundae (and some days I will); but right now my sights are set on a very specific goal and that is more important than eating that sundae. And, I may not have been happy about it this week (or the last few weeks), but I have kept making the choices that will help me to reach that goal.

That fear that I talked about in my last post is still there. I'm still slightly concerned with how I'm going to handle things when this challenge is over. But, I feared my vacation last year and ended up handling it better than I ever expected. I am getting SO close to that one number that I'd really like to hit (before I decide what my ultimate goal # is). I can't imagine I'm going to throw that all away just because I don't have the focus of the challenge.

Today was definitely exciting though because not only did I cross over into another new decade; but I am also officially "only" overweight according to that lovely BMI chart! This was always my first goal I wanted to hit. I wanted to get to 179 pounds so that I could officially be overweight instead of obese. There was a time that I thought I might even be happy at 179 pounds.  I wrote this post in July 2012 when I was talking about wanting to do a 70.3. 179 pounds was the number I was thinking I should put on myself to hit before I would tackle that goal.

Here's what else I had to say in that blog post:

"Ok...found a picture to post and of course looking at the picture I don't think it does me justice. I mean, that dress is a size 10, which to me...is plenty small! I have never been one to be tiny...nor do I need to be tiny. A comfortable size 12 would probably be just fine for me...heck, right now a comfortable 14 would make me scream (in a good way)! "

This makes me laugh so much when reading it now. The dress I wore to go see Miss Saigon in February was a size 10. The jeans I wore yesterday are a size 10 and I am not done yet. As happy as I am to be wearing these sizes now, I'm still not done. Of course there is always the issue of vanity sizing and the fact that today's size 10 is probably not nearly as small as 2002 size 10's.......but I digress. Ultimately, I'm learning that it's not really about any numbers for me. Don't get me wrong, the numbers drive me and will continue to drive me for a while. When it comes down to where I want to be "in the end" it's going to have more to do with how I feel and how I think I look than with what any number says. So we shall see. I don't know what that will be, but I know I'm not there yet! 

2 more weeks to go in this challenge! Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter tomorrow!