Day 4

For some reason day 4 has always been the most difficult day for me. Since most of the time I will be "starting" on a Monday, day 4 falls on a Thursday and perhaps I tend to fall off because I'm anticipating it being too hard on the weekend or something.

Day 1 (2, 3 and 4) breakfast

So here we are at another day 4. The good news is I've made it to day 4! If you've been reading my boring posts lately, you know that day 4 hasn't been a given these last few months. Last week I got through day 4, but fell apart for days 5-7. I am trying a lot of self-talk today to prevent that from happening again this week.

Day 1 (2 and 3 - haven't decided on day 4 yet) lunch

A couple of weeks ago I only lasted through day 2. On day 3 I overate and then just couldn't get myself back on track for days 4-7. I do think re-joining WW will be what helps me finally jump back on that wagon for more than just a handful of days in a row. Reason being is WW gives me the freedom to have a day (or even 2) where I overeat, but if I track what I'm eating I can see that I'm not actually "off program". There are plenty of times when I'm following WW and I have a day where I end up not tracking because I don't want to see the "damage" I'm doing. When the next day comes and I have a clear head I almost always go back and track everything I ate the day before. The majority of the time when I do that I see that I haven't actually used all my points so really I'm still fine as long as I get right back on track. It helps me to see what "getting back on track" has to mean.

So last night when I indulged while watching my baby girl perform during pre-game at the Cavs game; I didn't even think about it because I still have 26 of my weekly points as well as all the FitPoints that I'm earning this week. My only goal this week is to track and stay within my points - even if I use every last one of those weeklies and FitPoints.

Mary is 4th from the left

But then we're on to today. Day 4 and a day after using 40 points yesterday. The self-talk comes in to play because I start to second guess if I will have enough extra points to get through the weekend staying on plan. Basically do I have enough points to indulge as much as I want on the weekend?? The answer is NO and I never will. Even if I had all 42 weekly points and all my FitPoints coming into Friday, they still wouldn't cover the amount that I've been eating on the weekends. That's why I'm not actively losing.....DUH! 

On the JumboTron

It's getting back into the right mindset. It's not trying to figure out how I can play the system to eat everything I want, but getting back to thinking about what is really worth the indulgence and what I can wait to have until a little later when I've made a little more progress. I will never give up eating certain things, but I need to remember that I am perfectly able to avoid things for a finite period of time while I work on my goals. I can also remind myself that I can make room for those things here and there even when working on my goals - I just can't have it all. 

I chose to eat chicken fingers and fries at the game last night. That will more than likely mean that I will have to choose to skip something over the weekend (wine, an extra snack at the football game Friday night, another heavily fried meal, etc). Does it mean that I won't be able to indulge at all this weekend? No. I need to constantly remind myself that when I get into the groove, it is not that hard! It's not. But, man, why is it so hard so often then??? Because our minds lead us to believe that it is hard. It would be hard to say I am never going to have chicken fingers and fries ever again for as long as I live. But that's not what I'm saying and that's not what I have to do. I simply need to make the choice, count it, shift the rest of my week, and move on. And that is not that hard. So I will prove to myself once again that it's not that hard and that I can and will do it! 

What an awesome experience for these high school kids!