How is YOUR April going??

This month has been far from easy.

I had 5 goals that I targeted for the month of April. I have been doing pretty well with all of them, but it hasn't been without struggles.

Honestly I think the absolute easiest goal this month has been to stay away from wine. I've barely even thought about the fact that I "can't" have wine. It's more just a matter of fact - I gave up wine this month so I'm just not having it.

McDonald's has been pretty easy too. I've had some days (like yesterday and today) where I just want it for no real reason. I get into these lunch funks where I just don't know what I'm in the mood to eat. I don't really want anything, but I want to EAT because I like to eat (and I'm hungry)! Those are the times that I used to just head to McD's for lunch because it was easier. But I have continued to resist that urge. You would think after almost 3 full months of not having McDonald's this wouldn't be this hard still.

A beautiful sight before a 4 mile run.

The one goal that I haven't succeeded in is exercising 6 days per week. I'm actually totally fine with this though. Last week I had 11 miles on the schedule and we did that on a Wednesday. I didn't have my workout class that Thursday like I usually would so I decided to rest on Thursday. I then rested on my usual Saturday rest day and couldn't bring myself to get up and run on Easter morning. And now I'm having some slight discomfort in my knee so I'm planning to take it easy the rest of this week so that I don't end up doing serious damage. After doing some research today I think it's just a little case of "runner's knee". So, I will be moving my 12.5 mile training run from this Friday to next so I can take some time to rest my knee. Interestingly enough though, my knee feels the best while I'm running.

Long runs = ice baths!

I have miraculously tracked the entire month of April so far. This has been an amazing feat because I have been eating like crazy. It'll definitely be interesting to see what the scale says come May 1st given how much I have been eating.

Coloring Easter Eggs

And that brings me to my last April goal - the damn scale. It's April 19th and I'm feeling like May 1st can't come soon enough! The start of the month I was thinking it was considerably easier this time than it was back in February; but now I'm feeling it. It's funny (weird) because the whole reason I want to get on the scale is because I'm scared I've gained. I can't seem to get myself back on track this month and I think that if I get on the scale it'll just help something to click. That's probably not the case. I'm really not "off track" even though I FEEL like I am. I have been tracking all month and there have only been about 3 days all month where I ate more calories than my Garmin said I burned. All the other days that I felt like I was eating way too much (because I ate over 2,000 calories), I still had at least a few hundred calorie deficit. So IF any of these devices actually work to even estimate calories burned and consumed I should have lost at least some weight this month.

Ultimately it doesn't matter what the scale says. I know that I've been struggling to keep my calories lower this month and if the scale isn't down I know why. If it IS down it will show me that perhaps I CAN eat slightly higher calories and still lose weight because of the activity that I do and perhaps I just need to CHILL out and TRUST THE PROCESS. I am trying to remind myself and convince myself that it really doesn't matter how long it takes to lose this weight as long as I'm losing it. As much truth as there is in that statement it also isn't always helpful. I've said it before. I've said it lots of times over the last 5 years since I started this blog and yet, I STILL have the weight to lose. It may not matter how quickly it happens, but it needs to be happening.....and continue happening until I'm where I want to be....

If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time you may have noticed that I go back and forth between different "diets" or ways of eating. I hate the word diet and when I use it I just mean it in terms of what I'm eating at the time. My diet will never be perfect. I know that my diet will forever consist of tracking of some sort if I want to lose or maintain my weight. I tend to switch up the way I track and that doesn't necessarily mean I'm changing diets; but that I'm just trying to change things up to keep from getting bored. Right now I'm struggling with tracking calories. I'm not eating nearly enough fruits and veggies and am just worrying about how many calories I'm eating and not where those calories are coming from. I get into this funk when I'm counting calories. Sometimes switching to WW (Weight Watchers) and counting points helps because fruits and veggies are "free" so if I'm feeling like I want to eat I can eat lots of those and don't need to feel like I have to weigh/measure/track, etc. But, it annoys me because why can't I just up my fruit and veggie intake without having to change the way I track things? Why can't I just choose the foods that I KNOW are better for my body than the ones that aren't the best choices? And herein lies the problem. And this is my journey to try to figure it all out!