A Tough Day

Yup....that about sums up my day. The good news??? I have succeeded (so far)!

So, I've had 2 AWESOME weeks. And, as a result, I've had 2 AWESOME ("osum" even) weigh in's. One would think that would make this week even easier, right?? It just keeps getting easier, right?? Hmmmm...perhaps not. This is where I start to sabotage myself. My first "goal" is coming up. 11lbs. I'm .6lbs away from losing my "first" (ha! first...that's funny...but first since joining WW this time) 11lbs. .6 lbs away from losing 5% of my starting weight in just 3 short weeks. Yup..it's about right that I would start the sabotage now.

In my last post, I talked about how I had another birthday party celebration yesterday and how I wasn't worried about it. I did eat what I wanted and I did track it. I got a little too cocky though and ended up having some wine last night as well. It's only Tuesday and I'm now down to only 14 weekly points left. I will earn some more activity points this week, but at this point I usually have 40 weekly points remaining AND earn more activity points. Ok...but still fine. The fact that I have any weekly points left means I am still ON program! I am not OFF program until I've completely gone over my points. And frankly, there is NO reason for that to EVER happen. I ate a LOT yesterday. There's no reason to eat that way more than 1x per week. However, it is so easy to slip back into eating that amount of food.

Today I started my day with my big breakfast. (sidebar - I still feel like I do better when I eat a BIG breakfast, little lunch...or no lunch..or fruit for lunch; and then a normal size dinner. One of my weaknesses is stopping once I have started and this helps curb that). I then had my dinner planned out already and my points total was 33 for the day, which used 1 weekly point (no activity planned today). Ok. So a good day after a 62 point day yesterday. Right back on track....that was the plan.

Best. Laid. Plans.....

So after finishing my appointments today I was NOT hungry....like at all. However, I wanted to EAT. WHY?? There was NO reason for this. I was near a Chipotle (one of my favs) and I start to bargain with myself. Here's the conversation that went on in my head:

Angel: Ok...the salad you like is 16 points, but you only have 14 left.

Devil: Well, you could not eat the dinner you had planned and you wouldn't be that bad.

Angel: But, you know if you go today you're gonna get the chips/guac and then you will have completely blown it.

Devil: You've lost 10.4lbs in 2 weeks! What is one day of eating too much?? If you don't lose that 11 this week, you'll lose it next week.

Angel: Seriously?!?! Why do you have to sabotage yourself?? Why whenever you come close to a goal that you NEVER thought you would be able to reach, you make SURE you don't reach it. WHY are you trying SO hard to have a gain on the scale this week?? Just go home, eat some fruit and see what happens.

The angel won that argument. I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home. Great, right?? On a day that I am clearly fighting a binge, I'm going to go grocery shopping!! But; oddly enough, this wasn't very challenging. I bought what was on my list and only added light turkey. I was thinking to myself that if I still wanted to eat when I got home I would just eat some turkey.

I made it home and actually didn't even eat any fruit. I put NOTHING in my mouth. I made some calorie free iced tea and sat down to get some more work done. Before I knew it, the kids were getting off the school bus and I realized that I had done it! I had fought through the urge to eat for no reason and WON!

I made the planned dinner. Portioned out the planned portion and have not eaten since then! I think I may go eat an apple or some other piece of fruit now and then go to bed soon. I have succeeded! I feel good, but still frustrated that it happened. Now, tomorrow is the TRUE test. When I win a challenge like this, it usually continues into the next day and I weaken to that devil. Hmmm..I think I'm going to go plan my food for tomorrow before I go to bed so I can at least have the plan. That's half the battle. The other half is actually sticking to it! ;-)