Time for an update!!

On March 23rd I wrote a blog post about how I started this online "biggest loser" challenge. Then, on April 21st I wrote another blog post with the results of that challenge. It's only May 1st, but I felt like it was time for another update; because for once things are staying positive for me!

I feel like I might actually be finding my balance. I am really trying to be realistic and patient in this process this time. Back in September 2015 I started a process in which I was being pretty strict with my eating during the week and I was allowing myself to be more relaxed on the weekend. I was losing 4.8-5lbs a month when I was doing this. By December I was down 16.6 pounds and feeling pretty good. But then I got a little too relaxed and by Jan 1st I had gained back 5.2lbs. I was actually OK with this and was then trying to get back on track. The problem was I somehow got back into my old way of thinking and I wanted to lose weight more quickly. I don't know why I didn't just go back to what I was doing in the fall, but I didn't. While trying to get back on track I eventually gained back all but about 3lbs. I guess the good news is that I got it back under control before I gained back everything I had lost (plus 10 pounds). The bad news is that I'm still not back down to where I was in December and that's just kind of annoying.

In March a friend told me about the biggest loser challenge and I decided why not? But, the problem was that I was still trying to figure out what to do that would help me lose weight "quickly". And frankly, this group fed into that thinking since it's a 30 day group and one of the prizes is for the greatest amount of weight lost (percentage) in the month. This pressure got to me and I was probably more off than on during that 30 days. But in the end I still lost over 7lbs in that month. That's more than I was losing in the fall and I was perfectly happy with my rate of loss in the fall.

Somewhere in this process I stopped worrying about how FAST I was going to lose this weight and started focusing on doing it in a way that I can sustain for the rest of my life. There is a reason why I am still well over 200lbs. There is a reason why I keep gaining the weight back after I lose it. I like love food. There are times when I will literally get mad if I can't just eat what I want. I need to figure out a way to take any negative feels and guilt away from food. Food is food. It tastes good. It fuels your body and sometimes it just fills your stomach without adding much nutritional value to your day......and that has GOT to be OK sometimes (for me).

I am absolutely thrilled to report that I have seemed to get my mind in the right place again. As much as I might want to be at or near a certain arbitrary number by my 40th birthday, if I'm not but I'm still losing weight I'll be smaller than I am now. Did you follow me there? I feel like that wasn't a great sentence! LOL

Basically, I came to the realization that it doesn't really matter if I weigh 160 pounds on my 40th birthday or 180 pounds; as long as I don't weight 240 pounds. I look at my mom who has lost quite a bit of weight recently. She actually isn't even sure how much weight she has lost because it depends on when she starts counting from ;) But, when she breaks it down she really hasn't lost the weight all that fast. But to me (and I think even to her), it feels like she was overweight yesterday and she's not anymore today. We all know how quickly a year passes, right? I can either be happy with slow weight loss and in a year from now be thinking, "wow, look how far I've come!" Or, I can focus on trying to lose weight quickly, give up because it's too hard, and in a year look back and think, "how the hell am I still 240+ pounds?!?!" 

Having said all that, I was super excited on Friday when I weighed in and saw that I am officially down 11 pounds from re-starting on March 20th. If I take Sept 1st as my "starting weight" that means I'm down a total of 13.6 pounds. And if I take my highest weight ever from 2014 when I started the Whole30, I am down 21 pounds. Best yet, I weigh less in April 2016 than I did in April 2015. 

One more thing I want to discuss (this was actually what inspired me to even write a post today and I haven't even gotten to it yet)! This week I decided that I want to start training for races again. I really enjoyed when I was training for and completing races in 2011 and 2012. I decided to look at what my weight was when I completed each of the 4 previous half marathon's I've done. I came to the conclusion that IF I do a half marathon in October, I may very well weigh less than I did for 3 of those half marathons! This showed me that I can do it! So, there's a 10k in June and I'm going to do it. There's a half marathon in October and my goal is to do that one as well. I'm going to wait until closer to that date to make the actual decision; but I'm pretty confident that I will be doing it. I got on the treadmill today and did 5 miles. The 5 miles took me 1:13:18, which amounts to a 14:40 min/mile. Seeing as I am starting over I am very excited about this! Anything less than a 15 min/mile is something that makes me happy because I am pretty confident that I'll only get faster from here! 

Ok. I'll stop talking now. I feel good. I feel like I can keep doing what I am doing and actually make this work for me. I hope my posts continue to be this positive. I know there will be bumps in the road; but I'm hoping that I can be positive enough to not let those completely derail me! 

And FYI - since I've started sharing numbers on my blog; let me just tell you that my weigh in Friday put me into a new decade. I started in the 40's and am now in the 20's (29.6, but still in the 20's)! I look forward to leaving each decade behind to never see it again!