Decisions, Decisions, Decisions....

I tend to do this when I'm gearing up to really cut the bull and just DO IT. However, leading up to that time period drives me insane!

Let me explain...

When I am trying to get myself back on track I start to think about all the different weight loss options out there. I think I am grasping at straws trying to find the one that I haven't tried yet that will be the magic "pill" to help me to finally lose ALL my weight and keep it off. Problem is...there isn't a magic pill...literally and figuratively. Let me specify, however, when I say I try to find a weight loss option I haven't tried, I am NOT actually talking about pills. I made a decision long ago to not try any of that stuff.

This time is no different. I have been trying to get back on track since probably about April...when I finally started to feel better from this Crohn's flare. Well, it's now July and I have YET to get back on track. As a matter of fact, I've GAINED 4.6lbs since trying to get back on track in mid-April. Every week I try to start over. Some weeks I last the entire week, some I last a day or so and some I last a mere few hours. It appears that although Weight Watchers SOUNDS easiest to me right now, it's not. For whatever reason it's not working for me. I'm sorry...I should say I'm not working it right now. It's not that WW doesn't work..it does...but I have to do it. And that's not currently happening.

So when I start my horrible habit of over-analyzing, I realize that just because I'm spending money on something does NOT make it motivating. I realize that when I lost the 40lbs I previously lost, I did it with Sparkpeople (which is a free website). That is also the most amount of weight I have ever lost in my life. However, instead of deciding to just go back to Sparkpeople, I start to think about what ELSE I can do. I started looking into the Fitbit Flex, the Jawbone UP, and the bodymedia armband (which I actually already have). I start to get overly crazy with trying to find a device that is going to tell me exactly how many calories I'm burning so I can obsess over how many calories to eat so that I can have a nice calorie deficit and therefore lose weight. However, what it really comes down to is that if I count calories (or points or whatever), and even ESTIMATE the calories burned from exercise, chances are I will lose weight! I think the truth of the matter is that I'm trying to find something that will tell me I'm burning like 4000 calories a day so I can somehow still eat 3000 calories a day and lose weight! Well, guess what....that's not gonna happen!

I had a lengthy discussion with my husband last night about all of this. I've been going back and forth with it for the last few days. And here is the decision I finally made: to STOP being such a dumb ass and just DO IT already! ARGH!!!! I drive myself insane.

I canceled my WW subscription today. I am not going to put another dime into some sort of weight loss program until I commit to myself to actually lose weight. Seems silly to say - but truly, there is no reason to pay money to lose the weight. If money is a motivating factor to people, than more power to them. It's obviously not for me or I'd weight about 95lbs by now. I would never want to add up all the money I've spent over the years on weight loss products (I do not count things like new running shoes, workout clothes, or race entry fees into this, however).

I was going to start with counting calories through Sparkpeople, but discovered that the mobile app costs $3.99. I was going to go ahead and buy it, but then decided to stick to my NO more money idea. My Fitness Pal is a FREE website that (as far as I can tell) is very similar to Sparkpeople. The difference is that the mobile app is FREE as well! So, the decision has been made. It starts tomorrow. I am committing at least 3 months to trying ONE thing. I will be tracking my calories (both eaten and burned) on My Fitness Pal for the next 3 months (hopefully more). I will NOT make a decision to change to a different program until I've given this a chance to work. That being said..the only way it's gonna work is if I work it!

And here I go again!

Oh...and Happy 4th!