I Miss It....

I miss waking up before my entire family on a Sunday morning to meet my sister in law and run.

I miss running in the pouring down rain with my mom riding her bike next to me (for 18 miles!) so I don't have to train for my first marathon by myself.

I miss PRing at (almost) every race.

I miss participating in races.

I really want to add lots more medals!

So you might think it would be easy to just get back on track, right?? I mean, if you miss something you usually do the work to get it back.

Unfortunately for me it isn't turning out to be that easy.

It might have been easy if I would have gotten back on the bandwagon sooner. But I didn't. I have now gained back 36.2 of the 40 pounds I had once lost. I suppose the good news is that I was at my lowest in November 2011 and it is June 2013. So it has taken me 1.5 years to gain back the weight and I am getting my butt in gear before I gain back each pound + 10 more. That is a good thing, however, the fact that I once again let myself get this big is not OK. I am not comfortable. I am not happy with myself and I cannot do the things I had worked so hard to get myself to do!

And therein lies the problem with missing it. There is the answer to why is it so hard to get it back?!?! It's because I can't do the things I could do even 20lbs ago. I'm starting at square 1. It's a hard pill to swallow when you worked so hard to get somewhere and then threw it all away.

I found LOTS of excuses!

Sure, I can blame some of it on the horrible Crohn's flare. I can even blame some more of it on the extended need for Prednisone (which I am FINALLY off of). But the rest of it is due to my emotional eating. It's due to the fact that I used the flare and medications and recent life events (that's another blog post in itself) as an excuse.

Once again I am starting over. I realize this blog post sounds quite familiar to this one back on April 1st., but it is what it is. Today was another day 1 and it was a picture perfect day! I am currently allowed 35 PP (that's points plus) a day. I ended my day at 34 points. I earned 6 AP (activity points) with the digging I did for the patio we're building. I have already planned out most of my food for tomorrow and plan to spend a good portion of the day digging again.

One more thing before I end this post. I discussed in this post back in April about training for a sprint tri in Vermillion in August. I have a friend who is planning to do her first Olympic tri at this same event. This is the ONLY reason I'm still even considering it. I'm struggling with whether or not to do this. I haven't done the training and, like I've already mentioned, have gained back almost all my weight. A decision hasn't been made yet, but I almost wonder if I should wait until I get some of this weight back off before I try to do these things again. But then I think, why?? I never waited before! So, we'll see what happens. But, that's what this blog is about.....my journey to "just" fit....and a journey it will be!