#noexcuses Week 13

Week 13 was another rough week. I continue to struggle with wanting to snack for no reason other than I want to snack. I think I'm starting to figure out why it's happening though so that's a good thing. I'll get into more detail later, but for now I'm just going to say it's due to stress. It's easier to sit and snack than tackle some of the other things I need to tackle.

We are really in the home stretch now!

Ok, so having said it was a rough week I'm even more excited about my results. To be down 1.2 pounds in a week that I felt like I was struggling every single day is pretty cool. AND, to be down 1.2 when it is the 6th week in a row that I've lost weight is even more amazing. I just looked back through my weigh in's and I haven't had a gain on the scale since February. Even though I say 6 weeks of losing in a row, the one week that wasn't a loss was a maintain. It's been 10 weeks since I've gained weight and that week was a fluke.

Something that I've been struggling with again this week is the fear that I talked about in this post last year. It's funny that the post last year was at the end of April when I had such an amazing month. Last year the fear revolved around how I was going to eat when we went on vacation. This year I am starting to fear how I am going to deal with the end of this challenge. I could practically repeat that entire post in this one. I am absolutely going to loosen the reigns a bit when this challenge is over and I am totally OK with that. I have already decided that my goal for June 1st to to weigh whatever I do on May 6th.

But, how I've been feeling lately coupled with the fact that I'm already planning to give myself a little more freedom starts that fear that I'll just go totally crazy and end up gaining back 10 pounds in the month of May. What I need to do is just read this post from last year over and over again. This was the post where I talked about how that first week in May went when I decided to give myself the week off after having such a successful April. What I take away from that post is that even during a week when I had give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted, I did things like split meals with my hubby and get a small cone when I took my kids to get ice cream instead of the big sundae.

I know I already shared this on social media, but it never
ceases to amaze me. I barely even recognize that girl on
the left. But, I am SO proud of her for never giving up! 

That's what I need to remember for May. The point will not be to eat everything like it's disappearing in the next month; but will be to take a little pressure off myself after having put pressure on myself for 16 weeks. The point will be to be OK with my rate of weight loss decreasing a little without it stopping or going in the other direction. I was super proud of how I ended up handling my vacation last year so clearly the fear didn't ultimately win out. However, I also don't forget the fact that after hitting my lowest weight on May 26th; I didn't consistently get back down to that weight until November. And then, I only held on to it for a few weeks before my weight started creeping back up again. And, in 2017 I hit my lowest weight of the year in May and never saw that number again until February of 2018!

My goal this year is to get away from that pattern. I'm still happy that I seem to have figured out how to maintain my weight within about 5-7 pounds for more than half the year (until the last few weeks in December). But, I want to get away from the pattern of losing weight between January and May and then maintaining between May and Nov/Dec and gaining until Jan 1st (or even mid-January like this year). So, even if my rate of weight loss goes to less than .5 lb per week I will be happy. Let me repeat that for myself: even if my rate of weight loss goes to less than .5 pound per week I WILL be happy with that! 

Once again I tend to get ahead of myself. I still have 3 weeks left in the #noexcuses challenge and I am going to do everything in my power to crush these next 3 weeks. I don't think I'll hit my A goal and I'm OK with that. I'm still going to work for it and only time will tell, but I would have to average more than 2lbs per week for these 3 weeks in order to hit that goal and I'm not going to starve myself to reach a goal. One thing I am learning is the smaller I get, the harder it is to reach large calorie deficits. I mean, obviously I'll take it because it means I'm getting smaller; but it kind of sucks all the same!

Oh! I almost forgot. My official week 12 weigh in for the Challenge at LL was 183.2 and 35% body fat. That was down exactly 3 pounds and .7% body fat. I wasn't totally thrilled with that, but it is what it is and it was down. I've lost about 9.3% of my body fat % which I am definitely happy with; but to give you an idea, the 12 week winner has so far lost a total of 17.9% of her body fat%. So, I won't win week 16 and that's OK. I will end this challenge weighing less than I have in 14 years so I'll take that as a win (and I can already say that because I already do weigh less than I have in 14 years)!

3 more weeks.......