Well hello there!!!
Yes, it's been quite a while since I blogged......but I am back!
So Facebook has this great app that shows you things you have posted on your wall on that same day in years past. This is what has made all the difference in my life today and is the reason I am back! 10 days ago Facebook starting showing me that 5 YEARS ago (wow....just wow...that's a long time) I started counting calories (again) and was posting my calorie count in my status updates. Re-reading those posts and seeing how proud I was of myself and how totally doable it seemed made me realize that I've done it before, I can do it again.
So, this time I have done a little more soul searching in trying to figure out what actually WILL make this time different. And honestly, I have no idea if this time is going to be any different than any other time. I have to work on changing my mind and perspective and that isn't going to happen overnight. But, in the meantime, I can start cutting calories and working out more while I'm trying to figure it out.
So here's how it started out. I decided to put my goal weight in to be met by my 40th birthday. I've got a little bit of time so I thought that would give me enough time to not have a lot of pressure. That's different because I usually choose something within the year - or maybe a year out max. This time I'm choosing a date that's well into the future so that my calorie range feels totally doable to reach that goal.
But then today it dawned on me that I ALWAYS pick a number and an arbitrary date to try to hit said number by said date. Ugh. That's stupid! It clearly hasn't worked and I'm setting myself up for failure. What if I set 155 lbs as my "goal weight" and on my 40th birthday I weigh 160?!?! I can tell you what - I'll be disappointed. I mean, really?? It would be ridiculous to be upset, but that's how it would go. I also tend to use it to sabotage. For instance, let's say I'm doing really well and I've lost weight faster than I planned for. In those circumstances I would use that as an excuse to eat more.
So. I need to change that way of thinking. I need to start seeing food as fuel for my body and as a way to get me to my healthiest self. I need to start thinking that if I ate healthier I could probably keep my Crohn's under better control. I need to focus on getting my fitness back to where it was and then even better than where it was!
As a result, today I decided that for now I'm going to try to eat between 1400 and 1800 calories per day. I am going to try to workout at LEAST 3 times per week and increase my fitness so that I can start training again for running and triathlon events. I want the number to go down. The number NEEDS to go down. But, I'm going to TRY not to make that my biggest focus. Because I need to not focus on getting to X number by X date because that makes one believe there is an end. There is NO end. If I do the 2 things above the number WILL go down and I will become healthier and build healthy habits. Do I expect to be perfect? Let's call it a new chapter in my book of life (wow, that's corny!). This is the start of the longest chapter of my book. The chapter that will be the rest of my life! That is the way I need to approach this. I know I can do it. I've done it before. But what I haven't done before is stick with it longer than a few months. I don't even think I've stuck with tracking my food for a full year straight. Let's see how many days in a row I can go with logging my food (even when I eat too much!)
Day 1 = 1656 calories eaten. 30 minute walk on the treadmill. Total calorie burn as of 10 PM tonight = 2595. Total deficit (as of 10PM) = 939 calories.
Until next time.....
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