The Struggle is REAL

It's no secret I like my wine.

Sometimes I wonder if I like my wine a little too much. But honestly, it's been really no problem to give up wine so far this month. There has only been 1 time that I can remember where I even thought about wanting to get it and the fact that I "couldn't" have it. But, it wasn't even that much of a struggle. I just happened to be at the grocery store on a Saturday and thought, hmm..I'd sure love to have some wine tonight; but I'm not drinking wine this month so too bad. I wasn't angry; it didn't make me sad; it was just a thought for a second and then it passed.

It's also no secret I like my fast food - specifically McDonald's.

I know there is no doubt I like my McDonald's way too much! I know that any time I try to "control" my intake it spirals out of control. Sometimes it takes months and sometimes it only takes days to spiral out of control. But it ALWAYS does. Even so; this month has really not been overly difficult to stay out of the McDonald's drive thru. Amazing! Right?? I would say it's actually been slightly more difficult to give up McDonald's than it has to give up wine. Sitting here right now I can think of at least 2 (there were probably more) times that I really wanted to just go through the drive thru. But again, it was more the thought process of this is what I would USUALLY do and I made the promise not to do it this month so I'm going to stick with that. It's just that it took a moment of conscious effort to realize that I can't do what I would usually do because I made a promise to myself not to.

On to the 3rd thing that I decided to give up this month (and most of next).......the flippin' scale. 

I have officially decided today that my biggest current addiction is that damn scale! The last time I attempted to weigh myself was Feb. 9th and then I wrote this blog post about how I was going to stay off the scale until my infusion on March 27th. If you recall, on Feb 9th my scale was being funky and the weight was surely not accurate. So, I actually last weighed myself on Feb. 8th. Unbelievably it has been 13 days since I last weighed myself and I think I have fought with myself every morning to not get on that scale. Sometimes I fight with myself in the middle of the day. Sometimes I fight with myself at night. Basically any time that I am in the bathroom and about to get into the shower or it's first thing in the morning (which would be when I usually weigh myself). Man, it is annoying.

The good news is that I think I am losing weight. I went shopping this weekend to look for a different shirt to go with a specific skirt I already have. I ended up buying 2 shirts and a pair of pants because I just couldn't decide. The pants are just workout type pants and I saw that they were on sale so I decided to "just try". They were "only" an XL off the "regular" rack so I didn't really think they would fit. Not only did they fit, but they are so comfortable! And they really fit! I mean, not like they fit OK and they'll fit better when I lose more weight. No! They fit great and frankly will probably be too big in another 10 pounds! I didn't care. They were off the regular rack! And the 2 shirts that I ended up buying? Yea, those were XL's off the regular rack as well! The thought I had Saturday is that if the XL didn't fit I wasn't going to buy it. I think I may stick with that.....no more plus size clothes! If a "regular" size doesn't fit it means I don't get it!

Of course my positive shopping trip made me want to weigh myself even more! But, I have stayed strong and have stayed off the scale. It is going to suck to have to continue to fight with myself to stay off that scale until March 27th; so hopefully the fight will get easier between now and then! And hopefully it will have been worth it and the scale will be friendly at the doctor's office.