#noexcuses Lifestyle Challenge 8 week RESULTS

I was super excited about my results last year. To recap - last year I lost 14.4 pounds and 3.2 body fat percentage points. That amounted to 6.5% of my starting weight and 7.6% of my starting body fat percentage. I also lost a total of 14.25 inches in those 8 weeks. I was very happy with those results last year, and after a relatively rough March I got right back to it in April last year and lost even more weight.

On to this year........

Starting Stats from Living Lean (1/12/19):
Weight = 203.8
Body Fat = 38.6%

Measurements that I took (I kind of wish LL took the measurements too since I feel like they're more accurate when someone else does them. But, I've been doing my own for years so it is what it is)!
Waist = 34"

Transformation for this first 8 weeks

Belly = 38"
Hips = 43.5"
Chest = 34.5"
Bust = 39"
Rt. Arm = 13.125"
Rt. Thigh = 24"

8 week stats from LL (3/11/19):
Weight = 186.2 (-17.6)
Body Fat = 35.6% (-3)
That amounts to 8.6% of my starting weight and 7.7% of my starting body fat.

Measurements:
Waist = 31.75" (-2.25")
Belly = 36" (-2")
Hips = 41.125" (2.375")
Chest = 32.25 (-2.25")
Bust = 37.625" (-1.375")
Rt. Arm = 12 (-1.125")
Rt. Thigh = 23.5" (-.5")

That's just under 12" lost in these 8 weeks. I did lose more inches last year, but I think that's definitely easier to do when you weigh more and have more to lose. I am more than happy with these results.

My goal for the first 8 weeks was to lose 14.4 pounds. I chose that number because it was what I lost last year and I figured that if I could lose the same number of pounds it would amount to a higher percentage of weight lost since I was starting at a lower weight. Based on the numbers on the LL scale, that would mean my goal weight for the 8 week mark was 189.4. I can NOT even believe I beat that number by 3.2 pounds! I worked for these results though. When my home scale was 188 on Saturday (which was down 14.4 pounds from my home scale on 1/12/19), I knew I had the chance to have the scale be lower than 189.4 at LL on Monday morning. I kept my calories low (just under 1400, so not crazy low or anything) on Saturday and Sunday and it worked beautifully!

Transformation from Jan last year. 

This is now twice that I have met a number goal that I set for myself; the first time being pre-Disney trip last year. Prior to these 2 times I have never met a number goal I set for myself and let me tell you this feels amazing! It is so incredibly motivating to keep going. These weren't easy goals to meet, but they (clearly) weren't impossible either. I need to remember that and continue to be smart and conservative. It's tempting to change my week 16 goal to lose 17lbs again; but I'm not going to do that. Maintaining a high average rate of weight loss is only going to get harder the longer I do it and the less I weigh. I will not starve myself to reach a number on the scale by a certain date. I already decided that hitting a "goal" weight by a certain date is not entirely important to me. As much as winning this challenge would be amazing, I am not going to risk my health (or more importantly my mental health) to do it. My original goal was to be between 175 and 180 by week 16. In order to hit that 175 I would need to lose 11.2 pounds in the next 8 weeks. That amounts to an average of 1.4 pounds per week. I am confident that I can do that as long as I can remain focused. Every time I hit a goal I set for myself the motivation to keep going increases. Also, throughout this process I continue to learn and grow. This hasn't been something I've only been working on for the last year; I have been on this journey for at least 5 years and frankly even longer than that. The last year just happens to be when things finally started to click for me.

These numbers likely won't mean me getting the 8 week prize, but the real prize is exactly what's happening. It would obviously be amazing to win one of the prizes, but if I weigh 175 pounds or anywhere close to it on May 6th, I will have won so much more than money!

Here's to the next 8 weeks!

#noexcuses WEEK 8!

We are already at the first "checkpoint" of the 16 week challenge. Honestly these 8 weeks have absolutely flown by. My official weigh in at Living Lean isn't going to happen until Monday, but since I have been weighing myself on Saturdays throughout the challenge I will report that weight today. I am so excited to report that my weight today is EXACTLY what I wanted it to be. 

Last year my official results for the LL Challenge were that I lost 14.4 pounds. On my home scale I was down 14.8 in those 8 weeks - so pretty comparable. I had that 14.4 in my head as my goal for the first 8 weeks of this challenge because I wanted to do at least as well as I did last year. But actually, losing 14.4 this year would be better than last year because my starting weight was significantly less. Those 14.4 pounds last year amounted to 6.5% of my starting weight. As of this morning, those 14.4 pounds this year amounted to 7.1% of my starting weight. Needless to say, I am beyond happy with these results. 

I'll post more next week with my official weigh in results as well as my body fat percentage results and my measurements. Last year my body fat went down 3.2% (from 42.2% to 39%). I'm hoping for at least comparable results. Again, I don't think these numbers are winning numbers for the contest; but I am very happy with my results regardless of what happens next week. 

The key now is to keep this momentum going. If I can average the same rate of weight loss through these next 8 weeks I will hit my 16 week goal. I know I can do it, I just have to continue to want to do it. 

#noexcuses Week 7

Happy March!

One more week left until the first weigh in for the #noexcuses Lifestyle Challenge. I have a number goal in mind for next Monday, but I am trying to remind myself that it does not matter if I don't hit that goal. Goal setting is such a slippery slope for me. I am pretty positive that the one and only time I have ever hit a number goal was last year when I destroyed my pre-Disney goal.

I maintained on the scale this week, which means I am still 1.2 pounds away from that number goal I had set for myself for week 8. 1.2 is completely doable in one week, but I was pretty sure I would have hit it this week. I gave myself a splurge day last Saturday, but was spot on the rest of the week. My total calorie deficit last week was over 4500 calories, which should amount to more than a one pound loss on the scale; but it didn't. I know that it doesn't always happen the way it should, but learning to let go of that isn't going to  happen overnight.

I had grandiose plans of staying completely on track until the 8 week weigh in on March 11th, but I completely derailed today. March is notoriously a tough month because we have lots of birthdays. My daughter's birthday starts it off on March 1st. I was super proud of staying on track on both Friday and Saturday (through birthday tacos and homemade crumbcake). The pizza, chip/dip and crumbcake that's in the house for Mary's party today kind of did me in. Oh well. Such is life. I can still have more than a 3500 calorie deficit between tomorrow and March 11th, but as was just proven this past week, that doesn't necessarily mean the scale will cooperate. So, all I can do is try and the scale will do what it is going to do.

In other news, February was a pretty good month for my weight loss. From 2/1 to 3/1 I lost 8 pounds. I don't think I really put a number out there in my last couple of posts when I was talking about the time it takes to lose weight; but I (of course) have a goal in my mind. If I could average a loss of 4-5 pounds per month I would be beyond ecstatic. Looking at my weight loss so far this year I am right on track with that goal and that makes me super happy. My loss between Jan 1st and March 1st is 10.8 pounds (remember, the reason why my weight loss for the challenge is higher is because I gained a few pounds between 1/1 and 1/12 when the challenge started).

BUT, I need to continuously remind myself that if I don't hit a goal I set for myself it doesn't matter! It is totally OK to set goals to have something to work towards, but it doesn't mean I'm a failure if I don't reach those goals.....especially if I still end up at a lower weight than where I started. If I set a goal to lose 14 lbs in the first 8 weeks of the challenge and end up losing 13 does that mean I failed? Obviously not. Why is it so hard for me to remember that? I'm having a moment today where I need to remind myself of this fact. It is amazing to me how I can have a week (or 2 even) where I feel so positive and so happy and then all of the sudden my brain switches back to my old way of thinking and I feel like what I'm doing is not enough.

I need to remember to focus on those NSV's. This past week I may not have lost weight but I got on my treadmill yesterday and ran 52 minutes with no walk breaks. It wasn't fast, but it was 52 minutes of straight running. I am pretty sure I have never done that before. Also, last week when I went out shopping (to keep myself from eating), I bought new workout pants and they were a size medium!!! WHAT?!?! I honestly can't remember the last time I wore a medium. I also bought a new tank top for myself to help remind me what the goal really is. You can't read it since it's backwards in the pic, but the shirt says Goal Weight: STRONG AF! It's not a great pic, but I'll share it anyway; those are the medium pants that I had just bought and my new tank top. My arms may be my biggest insecurity (because, really, they are SO huge), but look at that muscle! There may be a lot of fat on the bottom of that arm, but there is no denying the muscle that is there either. The scale isn't everything and perhaps one of these days I will actually believe that!

On to week 8........

#noexcuses Week 6

If you look back through my blog you will see that for a very long time I felt like such a broken record. I would often talk about how hard this journey is and how much I'm struggling. Finally, after almost 7 years of having this blog I feel like I am now a broken record in the other direction. 

Week 6 was pretty amazing. I don't have too much to add to my blog this week because it's really all the same as what I talked about last week. My brain has finally had this mental shift and it is making this not nearly as difficult as it has been in the past.

Am I saying that all the sudden this is a piece of cake? Of course not! Did I still have times this past week where I had to keep myself from eating? Every. Damn. Day. But the difference is that I am winning those battles more than I used to. Wednesday this week I decided to go run some errands so I wouldn't sit on my couch and eat in the afternoon. I ended up at Target and proceeded to torture myself by walking up and down the food aisles. I still resisted and ended the day with a 750+ calorie deficit. Thursday I got smarter and went clothes shopping instead 😉

Today was an exciting day for me. Not only was the scale down 2.2 from last week; but it also put me in a new decade; the lowest I've been since before I was pregnant with Robbie (he'll be 13 this year); and officially down more than 60 pounds from my highest ever weight in 2014. It was a big day! 😁

As I did 2 weeks ago, I am giving myself today as a splurge day where I don't track or really worry about what I'm eating. Tomorrow I will get right back to crushing my goals. I am 1.2 pounds away from the goal I had set for myself for the first 8 weeks of this challenge. I am confident I can hit that by 8 weeks and am feeling that there's even a chance I could hit that number next week. I've now lost 3 weeks in a row though, so I am totally fine if I can't drop 1.2 pounds this next week. 

Can't believe it's already been 6 weeks. On to week 7........

#noexcuses Week 5

More than halfway through the first 8 weeks of this challenge. If it were last year I'd be in the home stretch. I am so glad the challenge this year is 16 weeks. I feel like I am on such a roll right now that I just want it to keep going. I know that just because the challenge ends doesn't mean I have to stop; but I also know that when the challenge ends I'll be more likely to take a break.

Week 5 has been kind of amazing! I didn't drop a ton of weight this week or anything, but the changes happening in my head are what made this past week so great.

I really think the epiphany that I had a couple weeks ago regarding why I have been so obsessed with the scale has continued to truly help me in my journey. I got back on the scale this week but I truly did not let it dictate anything. I actually found it slightly amusing when it kept creeping up by 2 tenths of a pound every day even though my food was on point. I also figured that it probably meant that I'd have a big drop at some point so that kept me motivated to just keep going. I was right and by my official weigh in on Saturday I was down 1.6 from the week before to put me at a total of 11 pounds in 5 weeks. That puts me 3.4 pounds away from the goal I wanted to hit at the 8 week mark. I have 3 weeks to lose that 3.4 pounds and I am confident it will happen.

So the other thing I thought a lot about this week was the time it takes to lose weight. I've mentioned this before, but I have actually, really, changed my thinking to believe that it truly doesn't matter how long it takes me to lose this weight. In some weird way though, I also am finding myself believing that I will hit my weight loss goal this year. It's kind of a weird transition that's happening in my head because even though I'm starting to believe I could weigh 150 pounds by the end of this year; I also don't really care whether I do or I don't. And therein lies the huge mental shift that I think is helping me more than anything. I think I am finally able to make this mental shift because I am actually starting to believe that I will get to where I want to be eventually. And eventually is better than never.

A better outfit, a better angle and pose, but still a big
difference in 11 months (3-18-18 to 2-17-18).
FYI - there's only a 15 pound difference in these pics. 

I realized this week that when you go through a weight loss journey with the attitude that it's never fast enough you are bound to fail. Harsh? Maybe, but true. I've spent many years wishing that it would come off faster and then I would inevitably stop and gain back everything I had lost plus some more. And of course this makes sense. If you're trying to lose weight and constantly feeling that what you're doing is not good enough why would you keep doing it? I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it, but I'm so glad that I have finally been able to see this.

That's not to say I'm going to be "perfect" now because I've finally seen the light! No, it just means that I feel like I'm going to take some of the pressure off and just do what I know to do and move on. I still gained weight between November and January, but I gained significantly less than I have in years past. I think this is a step in the right direction.

With all these realizations continuing this week, I decided to change my plan ever so slightly. It's not really too much of a change of what I'm doing so much as how I'm thinking. I ended my WW subscription again. I double track anyway and I more often use MFP (My Fitness Pal) to ultimately decide what to eat in terms of calories rather than points. If I had a day where I was already at 23 points, but had only eaten 1200 calories I wouldn't mind eating more points since I clearly could have more calories. Anyway, if I'm going to rely more heavily on MFP anyway than why pay for WW and have to deal with double tracking? So here's my new plan: track my food on MFP and focus on my calorie deficit each day. The goal will be to have at least a 500 calorie deficit most days. There will be days when I have much more than that and probably days where I won't have a deficit at all; and that'll be OK. If I can average a 500 calorie deficit every day of the week I should average about a pound a week loss.  Last week I averaged a 900 calorie deficit for 6/7 days (if you recall I gave myself last Saturday as a splurge day so I didn't track) and I lost 1.6 pounds. I realize it won't always work that way and that's OK. If I focus on having a calorie deficit most days than my weight will continue to go down.

On to week 6!

#noexcuses Week 4

Remember this awesome post exactly one year ago today??? Last year I decided that I wanted to have a 30 day check in on the scale at Living Lean. That post was all about how that totally back-fired on me I basically had a mental meltdown.

Even after my post last week about my obsession with the scale, I decided I wanted to do the same this year and get a 4 week weigh in at LL. I did that yesterday and I'm happy to report that my reaction to it was completely different from last year. The LL scale was very comparable to my home scale so that's great!

After my disappointing weigh in last Saturday I decided to stay off the scale for at least a few days. I actually found that figuring out why I am so obsessed with the scale helped me mentally this week. I am going to continue to try to just weigh in once a week, but I am not sure how well that will go. This obsession with the scale isn't going to go away overnight.

As you can see, I lost everything I had gained last week plus another 1.8 pounds bringing my 4 week total to 9.4 pounds. I am getting so close to a new low!! I am going to try as hard as I can to stay focused while not going totally crazy. Last week I ended up eating significantly less points, but was eating more calories each day. Basically that means that I was focusing on those healthier options (0 point foods) to fill in those calories.

My average calories were still a little lower than last week, but that's because I was more consistent. Rather than keeping my calories super low each day and having a day where I just binged (because I felt more deprived); I kept my calories slightly higher every day. I think that helped keep me more balanced mentally. I had several days this past week where I ate more than 1700 calories and only a few days where I was under 1400.

Breakfast, lunch and snack on repeat this week. 

I decided that today I'm going to give myself a "splurge" day. I am not going to track today and just take a day to not focus so much on food. Tomorrow I will be right back at it and focusing on crushing my goals. I am 5 pounds away from the goal I wanted to hit in the first 8 weeks and I have 4 weeks to hit that. Even with a 3 pound gain one week this month I still managed to average a 2.4 pound loss per week. I know that rate won't continue; especially since at the start of this challenge my weight was higher than it's been in months; but I am willing to bet that I can maintain a 1.25 pound average loss for the next 4 weeks so I can meet my first goal.

That 5 pounds will also put me lower than I've been since before I got pregnant with Robbie! That means it'll be the smallest I've been since 2005! Let's DO THIS!!

#noexcuses Week 3 Weigh In

Happy February!

Template made by @ww_gritandgrace on instagram

January wasn't quite as successful as I wanted it to be but I was down for the month so I'll take that. I was hopeful that I would have had a bigger loss on the month, but I gained a few pounds between Jan 1st and the start of the challenge on Jan 14th. I also struggled a lot this week so my weight was up on Feb. 1st from where it was last weekend.

Week 3 of the challenge was definitely more difficult than the first 2 weeks. I was struggling mentally the entire week and by Thursday I gave in to my emotions.

Here is what I am proud of though:
1) I drank a gallon of water EVERY day this week regardless of what my other food choices were.
2) I did not drink any wine. I told myself no wine for the 16 week challenge so it's just not an option. Usually when I "give in" I want to give in all the way and just drink because I mind as well. To continue to abstain from alcohol this week was huge.
3) I tracked my food all but 1 day really (I did not track yesterday).
4) I worked so hard in my LL workout on Thursday that I burned over 600 calories in that workout! I have never done that before (even when I weighed significantly more)!

So I ate too much a few days this week. Like I said, I didn't track yesterday, but when yesterday started I had 46 FitPoints remaining on the week. I am guessing that if I went over those yesterday it wasn't by a ton.

The scale was up 3 pounds today and as annoying as that is, I am working on not letting that bother me. It really doesn't make sense that the scale would be up so much in one week. There have been plenty of times where I've eaten a lot more than I did this week and only gained a pound in a week. This is when that whole idea of "forget the number" comes into play. But then this morning I saw this post from Meredith at Swim Bike Mom and I started having an epiphany of sorts. (I have had those a lot over the last few years).

STRENGTH...it cannot measure strength

I keep saying that I don't have a goal weight and I still believe that. But then I find myself still thinking about that number and I know that when my weight gets closer to that number I am going to want to get there and if I don't I will probably feel like a failure. Or that what I've done is not good enough. You know I have such an issue with that good enough complex. I was going to link old posts where I've talked about it but when I searched "good enough" in my blog it came up with so many old posts that I decided not to bother. You get the point. I have an issue with feeling like what I'm doing (or have done) is good enough.

Today I finally realized why I have such an obsession with the scale and why I haven't been able to let it go yet. This is huge, people, and I hope that it is the start of a serious change in my mindset.

When I posted about my goals for the #noexcuses challenge I said that I basically didn't know how to measure my success without having a number goal for the scale. I said that I would love to have a body fat % goal, but that I just don't know what is realistic to lose in body fat percentage in 16 weeks. All that remains true, but this is what has helped me today to realize why I have such an obsession with the scale. In all of this time I have used the scale to determine whether or not I am "doing it right". OMG people.  It seems so simple that I can't believe I hadn't seen it before.

If the scale shows that I lost weight this week then what I did that week must have been right. And if it shows a gain, then obviously what I did was wrong. No wonder why I let the scale dictate my mood. How would you like it if you started your day with someone telling you what you're doing is wrong? The fact of the matter is I know what is healthy (i.e. right) and unhealthy (i.e. wrong). I  use the scale to make myself believe that whatever I did that week was healthy even if it really wasn't; or unhealthy if it really wasn't. Basically, if I have a week where my calories are high and perhaps I had some wine, etc and the scale goes down the next week; I forget what I know about nutrition and health and believe that perhaps my body can "handle" that amount of calories because the scale went down. So then I eat that same way the next week and the scale goes up. Well, now I think I must be wrong and that I don't really know anything and I get frustrated. Can you blame me? This is a ridiculous cycle.

Here's the thing: the number on the scale is something that so easily goes down (or up) quickly. As much as losing weight takes a lot of time, you can make that number on the scale go up or down quickly in a finite period of time. So, for people like me who have no patience, it's the easiest thing to focus on. It's an easy way for me to get faster validation that what I'm doing is right instead of having to wait weeks, months, years, etc to see the fruits of my labor. I so easily get bogged down with thoughts of "if I'm not losing weight then why bother?" What I should be focusing on is being the healthiest version of me while finding that balance to live my life.

Skinny was never the goal

I think part of the reason why I love comparison photos so much is that it shows me that even when it feels like it's taking forever; it's still happening. It also shows that sometimes what the scale says doesn't matter. I have always played into the whole number on the scale doesn't matter attitude - but only to a point. The fact is the scale does matter to a certain extent. I am still overweight right now whether that scale number matters or not. My body fat percentage is higher than what is considered healthy and my measurements are bigger than what they should be. So I sit here and believe that eventually the scale won't matter to me. I believe that when my body fat gets into a percentage that I find acceptable I won't care what the number on the scale is. That's all well and good, but how do I take that focus off the scale now? The fact of the matter is if I do what I know to do the number on the scale will go down. If I lose the body fat that I want to lose I will weigh less overall. But losing 1% of body fat takes a whole lot more time than losing 1 pound on the scale. That's why I tend to focus on the scale so much.

The goal now is to start shifting my brain to not rely so heavily on that number on the scale. I know I've said this several times over the years, but now that I believe I have figured out why I've been so focused on the scale, I believe I can overcome it. It's not going to be easy. As I write this I am torn on whether I'm going to continue to weigh myself or not. There's that part of me that wants to keep weighing myself at least on a weekly basis so I can have a nice record of what my weight did during this challenge. But WHY?  That's the thing. It doesn't matter. What matters is the end result of the 16 week challenge. What matters is finding that balance of continuing to lose weight while not driving myself crazy. What matters is continuing to have NSV's like being able to borrow my daughter's sweatshirt.

Wearing Mary's sweatshirt

 What matters is finding a way to stay more consistent so that my weight continues to go down (regardless of how slowly) without rebounding quite as much as I do every single year. And finally, what matters is continuing this journey well after I get to a point where I decide I am at an acceptable weight so that I stay there.

Having said all that I think I am going to (once again) step off the scale and focus on what I know how to do. Not sure when I will weigh myself again and I'm not going to declare that I'm giving up the scale for good or anything; but I am truly going to focus on changing my mindset when it comes to that scale.