Monday, March 19, 2018

A Monday Weigh In

Happy Monday Friends!!!!

I hope everyone had as great of a weekend as I did. There was nothing overly special about this weekend; but it was a good one nonetheless. 

I was so proud of myself on Sunday because I stuck to my plan almost 100%. The plan Sunday was to go see Rent with my hubby and then get dinner after. On Thursday when I was struggling with my eating I had decided to make my plan of what I was going to eat on SUNDAY. Crazy, huh? Once I saw that I could have a great dinner out on Sunday without even needing any extra points I felt less guilty about using those points on Thursday (it's all a mental game people). 

Our first date....seeing Rent in June 1998.
We went to the Outback for dinner and my plan was to get the filet mignon (the 9 oz one at that!), the LOADED baked potato, and grilled asparagus. That entire meal was 21 points. I was totally happy with that because I NEVER order the 9 oz steak and to be able to still get my loaded baked potato and not at all feel guilty about it is awesome. The only change I made to this plan was that I did end up eating one piece of the bread with some butter. But, my dinner was at about 5PM and I did not eat a single thing the rest of the night. Yesterday ended up being my 2nd lowest point day in the entire week (actually it tied as the lowest). 

It's interesting to me that this week stepping on the scale every morning actually really helped me. On Thursday when I was eating (and counting everything I was eating), I was still feeling guilty as I watched my points go away. I always want to go into the weekend with plenty of extra points so I can get through the weekends without having to be quite as strict. So, before I got on the scale Friday morning I was giving myself a little pep talk. "Ok. You ate 56 points yesterday so naturally the scale is going to be up from yesterday. It's probably going to be up a whole pound (or possibly more). It's OK. You tracked everything you ate and you are going to have a good day today regardless of what that scale says." 

(almost) 20 years and LOTS of changes later....
date afternoon - seeing Rent.
I got on the scale and it actually went DOWN .4 from the day before. This helped me in so many ways. I had done a pretty good job of talking to myself so I think I would have been OK to see it go up. I know my weight fluctuates throughout the week and I don't actually expect to see it go down every single day. But seeing it go down after a day of eating more than I had been really helped to show me that it was OK. I not only was able to get right back on track for Friday, but I even passed up dinner out with my family to stay home and make a healthy dinner to stay on track. I got on the scale again Saturday and saw a number lower than I've seen since 2012. That totally validated my efforts on Friday. 

Now, I will say that I did allow myself a little more "freedom" Saturday because of that scale; but right now I'm not seeing this as a bad thing. Again, I ate a lot of points on Saturday but I tracked almost all of those points (I think I had a handful of pretzels that I didn't count). And again, before I got on the scale on Sunday I gave myself that same pep talk. It didn't bother me at all when the scale went up on Sunday. It was only up about 1.2 pounds and I knew that even if it stayed the same for my Monday weigh in I was still down a good amount so I was totally fine with that. However, it also motivated me to really stay on track yesterday so that perhaps I could see that low number again this morning. 

I am thrilled to report that everything I did this week paid off! The scale was down 3.6 lbs this morning and not only did I see that lower weight I saw on Saturday - but I saw one that was almost a whole pound LOWER! 

I am a little nervous to continue to get on the scale every day this week. It worked to my benefit last week, but I don't want it to backfire on me this week. So, we'll see. I haven't decided what I'm going to do and probably won't decide until tomorrow morning when it's time to face the scale (or not). 

One more thing before I end this long post. I find myself in this weird emotional space right now. I am feeling SO good and SO positive because of that number on the scale. I am also feeling pretty good with how my clothes are fitting and how I feel like I look when I look in the mirror. BUT, I am struggling with looking at pictures of myself this past week. I already mentioned that the first thing I thought of when I saw that picture from the awards ceremony was, "OMG I'm still so fat." I was so excited to have my daughter take pics of me and the hubby before going to see Rent and I thought the same damn thing again looking at that picture. So, I'm excited on one hand that I'm getting SO close to 199; but I'm also realizing how far away from my end goal I still am and that's a little defeating. It's the getting out of my own way that I need to continue to work on. I will continue to find comparison pictures to post because those always make me feel good. I focus on how far I've come rather than how much farther I have to go when I look at those pics. 

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